Thanks to the support I received over the years from countless 12-step members from my first AA sponsor Randy E. to my last one, Bryan L., I recognized my need to stop drinking, start getting honest with myself, begin to think of others, clean up my past, and develop a relationship with a Higher Power. I will be forever grateful for the love and support of the AA fellowship which made it possible for me to remain sober since November 15, 1982.

For those of us who have experienced 12-step recovery in AA, the word recovery refers to recovery from alcoholism. For me, the word refers to the recovery of the authentic Self. I believe that what there is to recover from are challenging and sometimes traumatic experiences we aren’t yet finished with.

Adaptive strategies helped us survive earlier challenges but are now maladaptive when what we want is true connection in our relationships. What maladaptive strategies create disconnection instead?

Through a process of honest examination, when a complaint and its hidden payoffs are exposed, we can see what we were previously blind to. What has been unconscious becomes conscious. But is this enough to end the suffering that produces the complaint?

Shortly after my wife and I moved in together, we hadn’t learned yet how to navigate our small kitchen without getting in each other's way. For example, I would grab something from the refrigerator and turn toward the counter but have to stop my momentum to avoid running into her.

Or the reverse would happen and I would get in her way. I felt an inner irritation when this happened and blamed it on the size of the kitchen, referring to it as our ‘one-butt kitchen.’

It’s not just childhood abue and trauma that causes life-long wounds and survival strategies. The IFS model helps heal and update the wounds so we an show up as confident and content adults.

With change comes upheaval and disruption which makes the solution feel more painful than the problems sometimes. So why bother? But if we keep searching, we can often find something more on the other side of the discomfort of change.

It’s time to redefine recovery. Discover how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can transform your healing journey. Start your path to inner harmony and healing with IFS today!