Discover your Power
Discover the power to achieve what you haven’t yet achieved
Discover the power to change what isn’t working
Discover the power to eliminate disempowering habits
Discover the power to overcome fears that stop you
Discover the power to break out of dysfunctional patterns
and learn how to tap into your personal power to start living the life you want.
As your coach, it is my job to help you get the results you want. I’ve been coaching clients since 2011 and have been trained to help you:
- Assess areas that you are currently dissatisfied with
- Gain clarity about what you want in those areas
- Define the gap between what is so and what is desired
- Explore the obstacles that get in the way of achieving your desired results
- Identify and agree to an approach that will help you get what you want
- Overcome your internal and automatic resistance to change
- Create structure and accountability to support your progress
- Continue to assess your progress and reset your objectives accordingly
In our coaching relationship, you are in charge of what you want to achieve, and I am in charge of the process for achieving those objectives.
You are the expert in knowing what you want and don’t want in life. I am an expert in helping you get what you want.
The IFS Advantage
There are plenty of great life coaches who can help you. But there are very few coaches who use the Internal Family Systems model (IFS)* to help you permanently resolve your inner resistance to having the life you want.
My training in the IFS model began in 2017. After completing two levels of training, I became a Certified IFS Practitioner in 2021. When I first learned about IFS in therapy, I could see the difference it could make in coaching.
Prior to using IFS in my coaching practice, I helped my clients address their internal resistance using a variety of mindset shifting tools and distinctions.
I knew that the difference between success and failure in coaching was directly related to how empowered the client felt. If a client didn’t believe they could achieve what they said they wanted, then no amount of coaching could help them.
Alternately, when I help a client believe they can achieve their objectives, their chances of success are dramatically improved.
What stops success are disempowering beliefs such as:
- This is too hard
- I am not capable of achieving this
- I’m a fraud
- It’s not safe to be successful
- If I try and fail, it will hurt too much
- I’m not worthy of success
If the disempowering beliefs that limit the fullness of your life can be examined and updated, success if possible.
IFS helps get to the source of disempowering beliefs. When I help my clients become consciously aware of the subpersonalities (or parts of themselves) that hold and enforce those beliefs, things begin to shift.
In most cases, disempowering beliefs started out as ideas which, at one time, offered the most logical and advantageous explanations available. But a belief is more like a theory than the truth. A belief is a thought that is accepted as the truth.
When a belief is disempowering, there is something about it that isn’t accurate.
A disempowering belief is an outdated idea.
If the beliefs behind resistance and self-sabotage can be challenged and updated, successful achievement of objectives is possible.
I have never found anything more effective than IFS to update beliefs.
Combining the ability to change unconscious beliefs using mindset tools and IFS with the structure and accountability of coaching will put you on the path to the life you want.
*Internal Family Systems and IFS are trademarks of the IFS Institute. For training information and educational media, visit IFS-Institute.com.
Is Coaching with IFS Right for You?
The difference between coaching and therapy is a matter of the client’s capacity for personal development.
The client’s capacity is determined by the degree of completion with the past.
If a client has unhealed emotional wounds that require a high level of daily management, they may have very little capacity for personal development. Life consists of an exhausting expenditure of energy to manage those wounds. Day to day life is inspired by the need for safety and survival. Because of the energy spent on the effort, there is a reduced capacity for growth and personal development until their emotional wounds have been healed.
The more emotional wounds are healed, the greater the capacity for personal development.
For example, I drank to manage my unhealed emotional wounds. Although I was able to stop drinking, it took years before I discovered pathways to healing. Until I healed enough of the unresolved past, my daily focus was on safety and survival. Eventually, with the help of IFS, I shifted out of a survival mindset and now have the capacity to grow and expand.
Someone who has significantly reduced capacity for personal growth and who is living with a high level of emotional burden would benefit from the help of a qualified therapist who uses the IFS model.
However, if a client is relatively high functioning in the world, this might indicate a lower degree of emotional burdens. Their unresolved emotional wounds require less daily management. If this is the case, the client may be a good candidate for coaching because they have a greater capacity for growth and expansion. Life for someone with capacity for growth and expansion could be described as inspired, connected, and creative.
Nobody needs coaching but many people who fall into this second category can benefit from having a skilled life coach.
People can seek help in life from either a mental health professional or a professional life coach. To determine who can most appropriately serve them, an assessment of the capacity for personal development is called for.
Therapy can reduce unrealistic concern for safety and survival and increase capacity for personal development. Personal development (life) coaching can increase and leverage someone’s capacity for growth and expansion to help them create the life they want. The Internal Family Systems model can help with both.
Personal development can be thought of as a continuum. At one extreme, because of diminished capacity, we struggle to survive and endure life. At the other extreme, because we have ample capacity, we thrive.
At one end of the continuum, we feel powerless and hopeless. At the other, we are aware of, and have access to personal power and choice.
We can all find ourselves at some point on the personal development continuum.
With awareness and intention, I believe we are all capable of making progress. I began my personal development journey at survival. Over the years, I have progressed intentionally toward the other end of the continuum and find myself empowered and at choice.
Over the past five years, my journey has been accelerated by the IFS model. I now use IFS to help my coaching clients. No matter where I meet them on the personal development continuum, I help my clients acknowledge their capacity and increase it by using the IFS model.
I work with individual clients using the IFS model and have created a group coaching program that is based on the IFS model.
The Expanding Cycle of Personal Development
The Personal Development experience can also be thought of as a cycle made up of progressive and repeating phases.
Phase 1, Dissatisfaction
Why would anyone go to the trouble of stepping outside of comfort if they were satisfied with life? When a level of dissatisfaction is experienced over an intolerable expanse of time, we seek relief.
Phase 2, Inspiration
Inspired by someone or something, we begin to imagine an alternative reality where we are no longer dissatisfied. Immediately, we feel more hopeful and creative.
Phase 3, Plan
There is a gap between our current experience and experience we desire. Using our newfound creativity, we make a plan to close that gap. Initially most of us attempt to alter external conditions. This can look like a new job, a new car, or a new relationship.
Phase 4, Action
We execute the plan. We take actions until we can reach phase 5, relief. If this doesn’t work we may return to Phase 1, Dissatisfaction. We temporarily are resigned, accepting that this is as good as it gets for us.
Phase 5, Relief
But if we can advance to Phase 5, we experience relief. We may even experience a period of satisfaction.
Phase 1 (the cycle begins to repeat from an elevated perspective) Restlessness and Dissatisfaction
Eventually, we become restless again. We experience a new level of dissatisfaction. The emotional charge may or may not match previous cycles of dissatisfaction.
Phase 2, Inspiration
When, in the previous cycle, our plan successfully elevates our perspective, we see possibility that we couldn’t previously comprehend. Personal Development enters into a new, more empowered mode and gains in positive energy.
This cycle continues to repeat and as our perspective elevates and broadens, we more easily imagine what is possible.
No Pressure Guide for Selecting a Personal Development Coach
I believe that the decision to hire a life coach should not be made under pressure or duress. The circumstances of your life have pushed you to consider asking for help. The process doesn’t need add any more pressure and trigger thoughts and feelings of mistrust.
I offer the following suggestions for a safe and pressure-free process as you consider your decision.
Take your time as you read through my website. I suggest that after reading this home page, you proceed next to:
- My Values. This page describes the values and beliefs that inform my coaching approach.
- My Approach. A description of what you can expect as one of my clients.
- Common Questions. Answers to common questions I hear from those who are thinking about getting a life coach.
- Schedule a free, no pressure, no obligation 30-minute discovery session. During that session, we will each have the opportunity to begin to explore the fit. If we both agree that we would like to continue to explore the possibility of working together, I will offer you a complimentary 60-minute coaching session. This experience will give us both an opportunity to decide if a coaching relationship is a good idea.
- Be sure to peruse over 60 Personal Development Articles that I have written over the years to get a better feel for my philosophy and approach.