You Can Have The Life You Want
It’s not a fluke that I work with people like you. I created the list above from my life experience. I was raised in an oppressive religious family with violent alcoholic parents. I became frightened of people and constantly feared criticism. I learned to perform to survive in school and at work. I lived an automatic life completely unaware of my own power and responsibility.
My own journey has provided a deep level of recovery from my addictions and trauma. Now I work with clients who have had similar life challenges so they can move beyond enduring, tolerating and surviving to lives of clarity, purpose and joy.
Start with a free phone call or video conference.
Try on my coaching philosophy
Make a commitment
You can’t expect things to change overnight. It’s taken a lifetime to form the habits that create the results you’re getting. You will be asked to commit to at least 12 coaching sessions.
Do the work
Be prepared to do your work between coaching sessions. As you discover who you really are, invest your time and energy in your own personal transformation.
Claim your Power!
Learning to live with Power can be a surprising challenge. But one you will happily take on.
I tried to create a sense of value and worth by working hard. I tried to feel a part of the crowd by doing what the crowd did. I felt like a fraud.
I used cannabis, nicotine, work and alcohol to cope with an unfulfilled life. I was insecure and didn’t trust my wife to be faithful despite a total absence of evidence. I almost drove her away with my strategies for preventing her from abandoning me.
When I thought she was about to take the kids and leave me, I stopped the cannabis and alcohol and began attending 12 step meetings. Almost immediately, the 12 step social scene became my addiction with up to 3 meetings a day and meetings after the meetings. She liked me better when I was drinking.
I stayed sober. I didn’t drink. And I was lost, confused, frightened, angry and upset most of the time. I became even more insecure. My wife died of a brain tumor when I was 7 years sober and left me with our two children, 8 and 9 years old.
Life was happening to me. I remained abstinent during her illness and after her death but found another addiction to help put a cushion between me and my pain. I found crazy, addictive, codependent relationships with half a dozen women – mostly in 12 step meetings over the next 2 years. My two children had just lost their mom and were now watching me usher these strange women in and out of their lives.
I wanted abstinence and the steps to make it all better. I worked the program to the best of my willingness and ability but continued to struggle and suffer. Two years after my first wife died I married my second wife to interrupt the insane dramatic cycle of new relationships.
We had a daughter and built a house together. Like the other women I had gotten involved with, my second wife was in and out of recovery for addiction. We tried our best but only managed to make each other miserable for 8 ½ years before I ended the marriage.
Afraid that I may just resume my addiction to relationships, I committed to working on myself and stayed single for 13 years. During that time, I discovered The Work of Byron Katie, Landmark Education, Life Coaching and Internal Family Systems Therapy.
In 2013 I remarried for the last time. Thanks to the deep and lasting healing work that I had done to that point, I found someone who is as kind and sane as I had become. We have been together since 2011 and enjoy a happy, healthy and authentic life together.
I began my coaching career in 2011 after hiring my first life coach, Carlos Jones. Carlos told me how he had been trained to be a life coach and I followed his path by completing a one year life coach training program in 2016.
In 2019, with the support and urging of my therapist, I was accepted into a one year training to become an Internal Family Systems Practitioner. I completed Level 1 IFS training in June of 2020 and completed Level 2 the same year. I am now in the process of becoming a Certified IFS Practitioner and can be found on the IFS website, www.IFS-Institute.com