Using IFS to Enhance Recovery

I spent 20 years “in recovery”, but I certainly didn’t feel recovered. I had over 7000 consecutive days of sobriety but that wasn’t enough. Abstinence is a great start but without healing, true recovery is not possible.

I was taught that if I had recovered from a hopeless, helpless state of mind and body, I was recovered. But I didn’t feel hopeless or helpless on my first sober day. That is not what I was recovering from.

I was taught that my length of sobriety represented the quality of my recovery. But sobriety only handicapped my internal managers and firefighters who had to find other ways to cope with my internal pain.

With all of my sobriety, I still suffered with depression and anxiety. I knew better than to tell anyone. I would have been accused of resting on my laurels, told I wasn’t maintaining my spiritual program, that I needed to do more service work, sponsor more men, go to more meetings, and read more of the literature.

If anything, I felt more hopeless and helpless with 20 years of sobriety than I did with one day.

Mine is not an uncommon story. I’ve heard it from countless others who, like me, were shamed and scared into sobriety but unable to feel recovered.

What is quality recovery?

What is there to recover and what is there to recover from?

For me quality recovery means having access to qualities of Self-leadership. It means experiencing the 8 Cs as a result of healing rather than as a result of acting as if. I consider myself recovered because I have recovered access to the resources of Self.

• compassion

• connection

• clarity

• calm

• creativity

• curiosity

• confidence

• courage

• presence

• patience perspective

• persistence

• playfulness

I propose that we redefine recovery as the process of healing the past and gaining access to the resources of Self.