Only Do What You Want to Do

How much of your life is a compromise? What if you could stop compromising and only do what you wanted to do?

My friends and clients have heard me say I only do what I want to do.

How is this possible?

Only doing what I want to do doesn’t mean that I only do things I enjoy. I do what I want to do because I believe that by doing so, I will get what I want and avoid what I don’t want.

That may seem selfish or over-simplified. But for me it’s true. And I don’t see it as selfish in the negative sense.

As the only person in my business, there are several things that I do that I don’t enjoy. But if I didn’t do them, they wouldn’t get done.

I don’t really like sending out invoices and contracts. I really don’t enjoy marketing and sales. And, while I love using technology, I don’t especially enjoy the challenge of learning how to use it.

But I love working with my clients and I love writing and creating content.

There is nothing I do that I don’t want to do. To believe otherwise doesn’t make sense.

I don’t enjoy sending out invoices, but I send them because I want to be paid for my services.

I don’t love drawing up contracts and asking my new clients to agree to them, but I do because I want my clients to know what to expect when we work together. I do this because it is efficient and effective. I want my life and by business to be efficient. I want to be an effective coach.

I push myself to learn how to market my business and close sales because I want my business to prosper. I want to help as many people as I can and I want to be compensated for the work I do.

Sometimes, when I am not getting the results I want, I forget that I only do what I want to do. I might ask myself, “Why am I doing this?” or “What SHOULD I do next?” In those moments of forgetting, I suffer. Even something as simple as saying, “I have to” causes distress.

Believing that there is anything I SHOULD do or believing there is anything I HAVE TO do stops me in my tracks.

I know this because I used to live my life that way. I did what I should do or I did what I had to. And I hated my life.

The quality of a life is not determined by what is done. The quality of a life is determined by the beliefs and perspectives of who is living that life. The ‘doing’ can look exactly the same in either case.

We seem to have internal guidance systems that weaken us when we stray from the truth and strengthens us when we align with it. It’s not entirely true that we should or shouldn’t do anything. It’s not entirely true that we have to do anything.

While it may seem like splitting hairs, there is a subtle yet profound difference between actions taken without awareness of choice and those taken with awareness of choice.

Believing I have to send out invoices is disempowering. Sending out invoices because I want to get paid is empowering. The difference is volition. I don’t have to send out invoices. But I do because I don’t want to run out of money.

I am in the habit of sending out monthly invoices. Because doing so is a habit, it’s easy to forget that when I sent out my first invoice, it was to get paid. I made the choice a long time ago and turned that choice into a habit. At any time I can choose again. I don’t have to send out invoices. It’s not even true that I should send out invoices. When I dread sending them out, it’s time to stop and ask myself why I’m doing it. Oh ya! I want to get paid.

I only do what I want to do – even when that means I don’t especially love or enjoy what I am doing.

I started this article by asking you how much of your life is a compromise.

Now that I’ve explained how this works for me, I have some coaching for you. If you don’t want my coaching, you don’t have to keep reading. If you do want some coaching, read on.

If you would like to live an empowered life, think of one or two examples of how you believe you compromise in your life. I used to think I had compromised in my choice of partners, how I spent my free time, the car I drove, and my career – just to name a few.

If you want to feel empowered in your life, consider asking yourself why you are doing what you do. “Why do I stay married? Why do I keep this job? Why do I pay my bills on time? Why do I live where I live?”

Honestly answering these questions will help you realize you are only doing what you want to do. Like me, you only do what you want to do because you believe that by doing so, you will get what you want or avoid what you don’t want.

With some exceptions, most of us have chosen the lives we live but few realize it. For many, there doesn’t seem to be a choice. Life happens to them like it used to happen to me.

Look around you. Look at the life you have. Does it feel like a compromise? If so, what do you hope to accomplish by settling for it?

Survival? Realize that you are settling for the life you have because you want to survive.

To get approval? Realize you are settling for the life you have because you want someone’s approval.

To be loved? Realize you are settling for the life you have because you believe you will be loved by doing so.

We settle for the life we have because we don’t believe we can have the life we want without settling for what we don’t want. And this can all change in an instant by realizing you have chosen the life you have.

Realizing you only do what you want to do may bring the clarity you need to do something different. When you can honestly say, “I only do what I want to do,” you will reclaim your power.

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