Why We Have Concerned Parts—And How to Work With Them

If you’ve ever felt stuck, anxious, or flooded with self-doubt, there’s a good chance a concerned part of you was showing up. In the Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach—and in the parts work I use with coaching clients—these concerned parts aren’t a problem to fix. They’re trying to help. And they often carry valuable insight.

What Are Concerned Parts?

Concerned parts are internal voices or emotional patterns that step in to protect you. You might recognize them as:

• The inner critic that wants you to do better.

• The overthinker who replays every possible mistake.

• The worrier that scans for signs something’s about to go wrong.

These parts often took on their roles during stressful or painful life experiences. They learned that staying alert or in control was the safest option.

Why Do Concerned Parts Matter?

Understanding your concerned parts is a key step in self-awareness and emotional healing. When you slow down and listen to their concerns:

• You reduce internal conflict.

• You create space for more grounded, Self-energized parts to step in.

• You build trust within your internal system.

IFS coaching (and parts work more broadly) doesn’t require you to identify with a singular “true Self.” Instead, we recognize that different parts take the lead at different times. Some are better equipped than others to handle a situation skillfully.

A Simple Practice for Working with Concerned Parts

You can start right now with this 4-step practice:

1. Pause and Notice

Say to yourself: “Something in me is concerned.” Create a moment of separation between you and the reaction.

2. Get Curious

Ask:

• “What are you afraid might happen?”

• “What are you trying to protect me from?”

• “What do you want me to know?”

3. Respect Its Intention

Even if you don’t like how it’s behaving, thank it for trying to help.

4. Invite Collaboration

Let any calm or compassionate part of you stay present with the concerned one. See if it can begin to trust that it’s not alone anymore.

Why This Work Changes Everything

When you relate to your concerned parts with curiosity instead of judgment, you’ll notice more ease, clarity, and confidence—because you’re no longer working against yourself.