The IFS Model, Target Parts, and Concerned Parts
Listen as I read and talk about this article.
IFS is used by therapists and practitioners to help their clients develop Self-leadership: an internal state characterized by harmony and balance. Although it is a therapy model, it can also be applied to coaching, physical healing, business, and leadership.
Self-leadership enables the individual to access inner resources and qualities such as clarity, presence, capacity, personal power, and creativity, that are are unavailable in an otherwise chaotic internal state of conflict an disorder.
Books like The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk describe the importance of the relationship between mind and body. The impact of PTSD on the immune system has been well documented by the Kaiser ACE Quiz. Now, imagine what might happen to an immune system supported by a balanced and harmonious mind.
Leaders who use the IFS model for their own personal development and growth access inner resources that help them be less reactive and more effective as leaders.
Athletes use the IFS model to improve performance by accessing inner resources like focus and presence.
The addiction recovery field is being slowly transformed with the recognition that healing trauma can resolve addiction issues. By recovering the resources of the true authentic Self, in other words, by developing Self-leadership, addicts and alcoholics are experiencing a quality life that goes well beyond meer abstinance from a substance.
If you are working with an IFS professional to develop Self-leadership, you can help them to help you by practicing the model between sessions.
To get the full benefit, practice the model alone by journaling or by partnering with other non-professionals like spouses, friends, and family members. Think of the IFS model as a tool which can be used by a professional contractor, by an DIY individual, or a combination of both.
Partner with your IFS practioner to get some pro tips on how to use the IFS model for your own personal growth and development. By practicing outside of sessions, your work may gain momentum, and you will get better at developing Self-leadership.
The efficiency of the IFS model is improved with practice. That’s why my volunteer helpers and I offer free 90-minute Parts Work Practice sessions several times a month. By learning how to shift from a state of internal conflict and disorganization to curiosity, it is possible to transform your experience of life from suffering at the effects of the external world to inner peace and balance.
IFS works because it helps you build trust-based relationships with your parts. To do this, learn to notice when you are being influenced by a part. Then, practice pausing, slowing down and being curious about the part.
What is it trying to do?
What is it reacting to?
What are it's concerns?
When learning to use the IFS model;
practice noticing the influence of your parts
decide which part you want to explore - this will be your “target part”
set an intention to learn something about the target part that you don’t already know
ask your other parts to let you explore your target part
address the concerns of any parts that react to your intention to give your attention to a target part
when all concerns have been addressed, begin to explore. What can you learn?
take a lot of notes
The audio from this video was recorded during one of my group coaching sessions where I help my clients learn to use IFS for the personal development and growth. Often, after working through an exercise designed to explore parts, or after facilitating a “coaching spotlight” IFS session with a client within the group, we discuss the nuances of parts exploration.
In this video, you will hear me talking about how to notice concerned parts during an exploration. Addressing the concerns of the parts that get activated during an exploration helps your system relax so you can learn something from your target part.
Here is the transcript from the video:
If you want to get to know your target part, which that should be the goal here. We want to explore the target part, explore it so as to understand it, so as to build relationship with it.
Not to change it, not to fix it, not to make it better, not to give it more power, not to take power away. But to build relationships with it, what we're doing is exploring it. So when these parts are revealed, just with the question, what's your attitude toward it? There could be an indication that, so here they are.
And if you can imagine you want to have a private conversation with someone who's clearly got shit going on, you want to understand what's happening, what's going on for you. Well, if you ask that person in front of the people that they have shit going on with, they're not going to be able to answer you.
Honestly, there's no way you might say. So what's going on, and what might really be going on for the person as well? So and so talked about me behind my back, and I made a mistake, and I screwed up, and I said something to somebody else. And now I'm worried that this person's thinking this about me, and this person said that to me, and that really hurt my feelings.
So whatever it was, that all happened, and they're all in the same room. There's no way you can share that with me. No way. So, we really need to ask the other people if we can have a moment. Can we have a private moment, just the two of us so we can talk? Would you mind? And they might say, why, what's going on?
Why would you want us to leave? Because it's going to activate them even further if we just ask them to leave. You know, Dick Schwartz, when he created the IFS model and began learning how to do it, he would be doing an IFS session with a client and he would ask a question like, what's your attitude toward this part?
Or how do you feel toward the part? The client might say, well, I don't like it at all. Well, Dick might respond by saying, we'll get that part to step back and somehow it worked. The clients went with it. But, um, what we've learned since then is that it's better to acknowledge the parts that are concerned and answer their questions, reassure them, offer them honest responses to their concerns is addressed their concerns and help them to understand what it is we're trying to accomplish. You might need to say to them the same thing you heard me say to you, which is, we're not here to change the part, we're not here to give it more power, we're not here to take power away, we're not here to take the job away from the part, we're not here to give it favor, we're not here to change anything, we're here to explore so as to build relationships, so as to understand.
Period.
And often, your concerned parts, the ones that are present and that have an attitude toward your target part, that'll make sense to them. And then you can make the request. So are you willing to allow us to have this exploration and not bring it in your own agenda? Can you ask your concerned part can you join me, Okay?
With curiosity, let's play a little game here. See if there's one thing that you can learn about our target part that you didn't already know and that parts will get engaged in that. They want to be a part of it. And if they can join in curiosity. Now you've got this. Save an open space. Now, the target part itself may say, yeah, but so and so is still in the room.
Well, let's have so and so go in the other room. Is it okay if they hear it so that they can learn something about you? Okay, now we can do an exploration.
