The nice guy problem can’t be solved until the secret is told. When being nice is real, the problem is solved.

I didn’t know that acting nice and actually being nice were two different states of being. I hated to admit it but when I was acting nice, I was ACTING. What my wife wanted was the real me. But deep down inside I was convinced that the real me wasn’t enough. How could she love someone like me? I didn’t even like me.

The Nice Guy Syndrome starts in childhood as we observe the relationships of adults around us. It’s a maladaptive set of charactaristics and traits employed often by men who are trying not to be like their abusive fathers.

What’s wrong with being a nice guy? Nothing in and of itself. But when being a nice guy (or girl) is a strategy to accomplish a hidden agenda, there’s a problem.