Bill Coaches Marty

Bill: Hi, Marty. Hey, Bill. So here we are. We are going to record a coaching session where I'm the coach and you're the client. What do you notice as you anticipate that this is being recorded and the coaching that you're going to receive from me is going to be viewed and watched and listened to by others.

Marty: I'm a little nervous, a little, feel a little vulnerable but I trust you and I trust the process. Great.

Bill: Thank you. Thank you. We want to start out a coaching session with a clear objective, a coaching request. Are you clear about what your coaching request is? I'll be taking notes, by the way.

Marty: Not a hundred percent. You might help me get it

Bill: clear. Yeah. Let's hear what you got and we'll flesh it out.

Marty: So I've had some breakthroughs in the area of what my coaching, the theme of my coaching is about, and also in the area of feeling free. around money, both of which were things that, I was getting coaching on, last six months.

Marty: So I've come to a new realization that, business development is no longer my focus, but leadership is, we've talked about this. And I've uncovered some trauma that I had from back in my 20s around money That has left me feeling like I really want to invite it into my life now, right money.

Marty: Yes, so my but I'm not sure, how to bring that in. I want more ideal clients. I think some of this question that I'm asking myself is how to invite more money into my life is going to get answered once the book is written and published and people reading it and inviting me to do workshops or whatever that will partially help bring in money.

Marty: But 1 thing, and it's not the only answer, books, I think it's going to be the speaking engagements in the. And the coaching that the book engenders that will make more money than the book itself by far. So anyway do you see what my

Bill: question is? I believe so.

Bill: I well, let's do this. Let me reflect back. Given the notes that I just took as you were speaking for two reasons. One, make sure that I heard. And do understand what you just shared with me. And two to give you an opportunity to tell me more if you're inspired to do as I reflect back. Okay. All right.

Bill: All right. You want to feel free around money.

Marty: I already do feel free around money that has changed and and that's good. And now I want it. I want it. You know that part of what needed to change was that I didn't want it. I was afraid of it. I was in trauma around it. I was shut down around money.

Marty: So now I do, I do feel free around it. So I want it.

Bill: So you feel free around money and now you want more of it. Yes. Yeah. Your coaching focus has changed from what it was before to leadership now.

Marty: Business development is what it was.

Bill: It was business development, now it's leadership. So the question is, how do I bring more money into my life?

Marty: Maybe one of the ways to put the question is, how do I meet more ideal clients? More people looking for coaching and leadership.

Marty: That would be a really straightforward way of putting the problem.

Bill: I want to challenge that a little bit if I could. Do you want more clients or do you want more money? Or do you want both? It's

Marty: both. There is a limit on the number. Of course, I don't want more than 15 clients. I'm not good. I want to be able to give myself fully to the client.

Marty: So I don't want a lot of clients. So you're right about that. But I have room for a couple more. And I'd like to pay what I'm worth, which I hadn't been asking for up until, recently.

Bill: Yeah, by the way I don't know what I'm right about. I just was asking you a question. I wasn't really asserting that you that you want more clients or that you don't.

Bill: I just was asking if you did.

Marty: But you're right to ask that question because. Because I don't just want more. It's not about

Bill: more. There's also an association that I see here between wanting more money and the way to get that. That's a strategy. The way to get the money is a strategy.

Bill: I raise my prices. I get more clients. Even those are contained within a box. It's a limiting way to get money. It's a limited, not limiting, but limited way to get money. Would you agree? Yes. So let me ask the question in a slightly different way. If you had as much money as you wanted, would you want more clients?

Bill: No. Okay. So more clients is just a strategy to get more money. Yeah. If the money problem were solved, then you wouldn't especially want more clients. Correct. Okay. All right. Here's the, I think in math formulas, you've known me for a while. This about me, maybe more accurately to say, I think logically I want more ideal clients.

Bill: So I want more money. I want more ideal clients. I have a book. If I can finish it, that's another strategy to get more clients and more clients as a way to get more money.

Bill: So the logic there was I want more money. Here's how I'm going to get more money. Therefore, I have more money. But if I want more money and I have more money, both are true. Then you don't especially need to have more clients. Correct. That's right. Okay, so what's the, what is the change or improvement that you want to make in your life?

Bill: I'm going to use a little bit of a formulate process with you here. That's okay. Okay. The change or improvement. Is it as simple as I want more money?

Marty: No, it's not that simple. Okay. What is it? Because they may need to be ideal clients. I wouldn't just, I wouldn't be willing to do it by, cleaning out the stalls.

Bill: If we just kept it down to its base simple idea here, the change or improvement that you want in your life is to have more money.

Bill: I'm not saying anything about how you go about getting that money at this point. I'm just saying the change. Yes.

Marty: Yes. Okay. I get it. Yeah, that's the basic change I want in my life. Correct.

Bill: And now let's look at something else that we haven't talked about at all yet. And that is. If you had more money, what problems would you hope that would solve for you?

Marty: Maybe I didn't express this, but.

Marty: It's I think there's a relationship that I'm asked that I want to build with this new found focus of the coaching itself. So I'm hesitant to say it's just about the money. It feels like part of what I'm asking for coaching is how to get the money and the new found focus in my coaching related.

Bill: Okay, how do I both shift to this new focus, which you've already done, but how do I.

Bill: Have leadership be my focus in coaching and have that generate the income that I want.

Marty: Or another way to start at the sentence from the other end. How do I have this newfound focus in leadership produce more money?

Marty: And part of the reason why it's a mystery to me. Is because it's a newfound focus. That's not, that hasn't been my target on my target client has been somebody who wants to build their business, and now I'm targeting people. I'm not, I like, I'm, where do I meet them? That's part of the

Bill: question, right?

Bill: Where do I meet people who are interested in coaching around leadership.

Marty: And I'll charge them appropriately and they'll be ideal. And so the money will come. .

Bill: Once you find them, know how to market to them.

Marty: I do see that as an important part of the, what I'm the coaching I'm asked for, the the math that I'm trying to solve includes these leaders who want coaching and leadership.

Bill: What problems are you trying to solve by, if you could execute this change or improvement, if you could get this figured out and answer the question, how do I have this newfound focus and leadership to produce more money? Yeah, the change or improvement that you want to do is produce more money using this newfound focus.

Bill: Yes. Yes. Okay. What problems are you trying to solve by making this change?

Marty: Yeah good because the most important one is better leadership in our world, even if I die in poverty if I could impact that would be the most important But

Bill: did you say better leadership in the world?

Bill: Yes. That's a result that you want to be behind. Yes. That

Marty: solves what problem?

Marty: Having better leadership in the world. Solves a lot of problems. Everybody's happier. Everybody's making more money. Everybody's getting

Bill: along better. Here's why I'm smiling right now. Everybody's happy. I'm going to capture these because they're important and they're answering a different question than I'm asking.

Bill: And so you're getting ahead of me a little bit here, but I'm smiling because you are so positive. Your default nature is to be so positive. I've asked you twice now about problems, and maybe even three times about problems that you want to solve. And you haven't told me about any problems. You've told me about the result that you envision.

Marty: I see. Okay.

Bill: You look embarrassed. Did I embarrass you? No, it's okay. That's good. Okay. So you're not embarrassed? No. Okay, good. Better leadership in the world solves what problems? I know you're gonna have to work hard to do this, but try to put it to me in problem format.

Marty: Divisiveness would be the problem. Street people are the problem.

Bill: Or about that street people are the problem

Marty: people living on the street, because we're not taking care of them. We have no place for them. So we just let them live on the streets. That's a problem of leadership. Got

Bill: it.

Marty: The bathtub that we're taking our bath in is getting more and more polluted and we're not doing anything about it. Talking about the environment. Yeah, that analogy to make it even more disgusting. Yeah. Keep pooping and Pissing in our own bath, like that's a problem of leadership. We, the European Union is all over this and we're still, fighting about it.

Marty: Come on. This is a problem of leadership. Okay. Okay.

Bill: Tell me more. Better leadership in the world. So that we can begin to solve the problems of dismissiveness.

Marty: And just to, recoup something, we were talking about money before, and I want to, I think that if I could get involved in making these, big changes, the money is going to come.

Marty: So that there is a relationship, there's still a relationship to my making more money in this.

Bill: Yeah, you're making more money because you're involved in this conversation. Yes, making a difference in the conversation.

Marty: That's right. That's right. Making it different now that kind of went catching making a difference is really what sort of brings the newfound focus and coaching and money together.

Marty: Make a difference for them and the money will come

Bill: make a difference for the leaders. Yeah. What is the difference that needs to be made for them? What's what is that? That points to or implies at least that there's something missing for them. Yeah. What is missing for them? What is the problem they have that you want to help them solve?

Marty: This goes really deep really fast. I think they may and maybe you could help coach if I'm getting too into the weeds here. Yeah. That I think they've been taught to think of themselves as. Separate and different and that creates problems for them. They have to be bossy or they have to be nice or, there's this, there's a real confusion among leaders.

Marty: Like, how do I get people to do what is best for them? They think that I'm lording it over them. They think that I'm not. Asking enough of the all these leaders are really asking these tough questions right now. And there's no good model. All of the models are based on you're the leader show us, that's not what that's not always what a leader does.

Marty: There are lots of ways leadership can look. So developing a whole new, what I call A relational model of leadership rather than individualist model of relationship.

Bill: Say that again. You develop a relation, relational?

Marty: Yes, relational. Like in coaching, right? There are times when you as the coach are leading the conversation.

Marty: You're asking the questions to bring out what I need to learn about myself. And there are other times when I'm leading the conversation to tell you where I want us to go and what's important to me. And right. It's not like you're the leader in this conversation and I'm the follower or vice versa.

Marty: It's a, so this is just a perfect example of coaching conversation of where the current model of what leadership looks like doesn't work.

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. If I were coming across as directive and assertive and I am somewhat just with the process but that wouldn't be leadership. That would be control, or management of anything.

Bill: You're saying that You want to develop a relational model of leadership rather than what did you say individualist than an individualist model by that individualist model, meaning that I see myself since I'm a leader, then I need to show up differently and separately than the people that I'm leading.

Bill: And the question is, how do I show up as that? And who is it that I need to be? And how do I go about that? Yeah. Yeah.

Marty: Or oftentimes do I have that trait that it takes? That's what a lot of the books in the last hundred years on leadership will tell you is have you got charisma? Then you don't have what it takes.

Marty: Have you got more money than everybody? Then you have no business leading them. It's this kind of thing. Can you self promote? Then you're not a leader, which is not true. What

Bill: does it take to be a leader?

Marty: It takes three things.

Marty: A genuine interest in the community. You gotta not just be self absorbed. You have to care about the community. Because you're what, the basic thing you're doing is empowering the world around you. That's what a leader does. Secondly, you have to have faith. Faith that it's going to get implemented and that it's going to work.

Marty: Like you have to believe in, have a devotion, in fact, to seeing what you're saying as the leader be implemented. You're not just spouting you're not just letting anything fly. You actually care, you have faith in what you're saying and the people that you're saying it to, that's second.

Marty: And thirdly, hope. A sense. There's a better future possible. Why would you be leading anybody anywhere if not toward a better future? Can you raise more money than the next candidate? Does that make you a leader? Maybe in some ways, but not in the way that's required for the job.

Bill: Yeah, in other words, are you more influential than somebody else?

Marty: Elon Musk is a really smart, inventive guy, but should he be leading the conversation on Twitter? I don't know.

Bill: Okay. Here's the results that you want. That you want to produce. Given the question that you have, how can I take my newfound focus and leadership and produce more money for myself the result that you want, and we haven't either, even by the way, we haven't named the result, I make more money, but let's name that now.

Bill: Let's just start out with that. Result, I make more money. I, Marty, make more money. There's better leadership in the world. You're making a difference in the conversation. I guess we had named that now that I see it. It says, I'm making more money because I'm making a difference in this conversation. And it's important, isn't it?

Bill: That those two be coupled together, isn't it? For me, it is. Yeah. And you're the one that counts here. You're the client and this is what you want. The result is that you develop a relational model of leadership rather than an individualistic model that can be transferred. Into your clients.

Bill: You've already got the model developed, right? We hope that you develop the model. You've already got it. But that's this developed relational model of leadership gets transferred into the minds and the hearts of your clients.

Marty: It is being transferred into the minds and the hearts of my current clients, but the money thing means where do I find more of those people that are up for this?

Bill: Yeah. So you convey your relational model of leadership to a large group of people.

Marty: Yeah. Yeah. More people need to be exposed to it. Correct.

Bill: And have more influence in that way, right? You provide some clarity, a model, for what it takes to be a leader so that we can eliminate the confusion around, do I have what it takes?

Bill: The question more would end up being... Not do I have what it takes, but I know what it takes and I know if whether or not I need to develop myself in these areas. I need to develop myself. I need to ask myself, do I genuinely have an interest in the community and a devotion to helping that community?

Marty: Yes. And it's actually about being interested. Like That it's going to be a mutual thing. You can tell you're interested because you're getting interest back and they're interested in you. So this is where the relational model is different from just saying, Oh, does he have hope or not?

Marty: No, it's not about him. Hope is something that arises in the relationship. Yeah, hopeless. If you're on 1, if you're if we're separate that's something I didn't explain earlier, but I consider these 3 things: community, faith and hope to be public goods. So it's not do I have that or not? It's, is it arising in this relationship?

Marty: So anybody it could be. You and your wife having dinner, arguing about something and, noticing, okay, there's no leadership here. We're just arguing. Okay let's agree then and now community starts to form and what is it that we're going to, again, you start to ask these hopeful questions about where we're going to get to in this conversation.

Marty: Leadership arises between you in that. So it's not like one of you had it or the other.

Bill: Excellent. So before we wrap up, I want to make sure that we've got those 3 points. There's community, faith, and hope, and we talked about community where interest is reciprocated, and you're part of that conversation. In fact, maybe you've generated the conversation. You're the leader.

Bill: Faith in what you're saying and in, in faith in the people that you're saying it to.

Marty: Yes. It's about it being implemented, being like checked. It's not just your good idea. It's there's faith that if we implement this, it's going to make it, it's going to make a difference.

Bill: Okay. And then the third one, hope and belief in the possibility in a better future because these ideas.

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. Wow. It's really great. So your coaching request was how do I take my newfound focus in leadership and produce more money? What ideas do you have about that now that we've had this conversation?

Marty: I think one, one thing that is occurring to me is that

Marty: In the community that is me, this is a weird thing to say, but in the community that runs my business, which is me, We need to, we, me and my parts need to have. Faith and focus right now on what is that future? If you want to be coaching leaders in government, let's say what are you doing to connect with them right now?

Marty: If you want to be coaching corporate leaders and implementing this relational model of leadership in there. C suite then we got to bring the community together to take action on doing that get into those conversations, raise these questions with them, see hear what they're struggling with and offer this model to them.

Bill: Thank you, Marty. I believe our time is just about up. Is there one action that you'll take now, given the increased clarity that you have about this challenge that you have? An action that you'll take to, to move this

Marty: forward.

Marty: Yeah. I think the action is sort of an inaction/action is to ask my higher power to reveal to me the way forward.

Bill: Very good. When is your book going to be published?

Marty: It's going to be around the beginning of 2024.

Bill: Okay, you already have a name for the book and are you willing to share it?

Marty: I have a working title, which is Listening for Leadership of Faith

Bill: Hope. Nice. Very nice. Marty, this has been my pleasure. I appreciate you having the courage to, to bring this to the public domain as we record this podcast episode.

Bill: You made yourself real vulnerable and it seemed to me that As a result of doing that, you were able to find get some clarity that maybe you didn't previously have. Absolutely. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Marty.