Completion
We live in a small house, and like most Americans, we have way too much stuff. The garage is a great place to store what we aren’t using like Christmas decorations. We also like to park our cars in the garage. So, when we decided to buy a 10’ outdoor lighted Christmas tree, we thought about where we would store it.
One wall of our garage is lined with shelving and hanging yard tools like shovels and rakes. I was convinced that, after Christmas, I could reorganize the space and make room for the tree which, when broken down, fits in a large box.
The Saturday after Christmas, I pulled the cars out of the garage and began pulling items off the shelves. My wife and I found enough items to give away to make room for the new box. Eight hours later, I was done. There was now room for the box. But the process that began two months ago with the purchase of the tree was not complete.
Yesterday, my daughter and her family came to our house for a late Christmas. Before they left, we loaded up their car with camping gear and other miscellaneous items my wife and I no longer need.Today, we will unplug the tree, disassemble it, and put it in the box, and put it away until next year.
There are no loose ends and nothing left to do. We can still park our cars in the garage. We won’t get a notice from the homeowners association that we’ve left our Christmas decorations up too long. We know just where to find what we need in the garage. The process is complete.
I began to learn about the concept of completion when I attended the Landmark Forum two decades ago. I learned more when I hired my first coach, Carlos in 2011, and even more during my coach training in 2016.
One of my fellow coaches, Geoff Laughton defines completion as, “Being able to be with anything, exactly the way it is and isn’t, exactly the way it was and wasn’t, without any loss of power or sense of possibility.”
Now, as a trained and Certified IFS Practitioner, I recognize that completing the past is at the core of all progress and sustainable change. When experiences are incomplete, they stay with us in ways that disrupt the flow of life.
For example, when I invested thousands of dollars in a marketing program which failed to produce results, I was incomplete. The marketing program ended, but I was dissatisfied with how it went for me. I wasn’t complete until I accepted the experience exactly as it was and took responsibility for how it went. Before “getting complete” with the experience, I felt stuck and resigned, disappointed and angry.
When I realized that it was up to me, I got some coaching and got complete. My attitude and energy changed and I was able to consider new approaches to marketing. But this time, I was more discerning and found a less expensive and more effective way to market my business. Had I not taken the time and found the support I needed to complete my previous experience, I may still be stuck. As Geoff says, completion helped me “be with” or accept the previous disappointing experience exactly as it was. I reclaimed my power and embraced a new approach that previously I would not have considered possible.
2024 has ended. But is it complete for you? I’ve borrowed a set of questions that my friend Geoff uses with his coaching clients to help you complete last year. Once you’re complete with 2024, Geoff has provided another set of questions for 2025. Click the links below to use Geoff’s process for completing 2024 and contemplating 2025.
