It’s not just childhood abue and trauma that causes life-long wounds and survival strategies. The IFS model helps heal and update the wounds so we an show up as confident and content adults.

The nice guy problem can’t be solved until the secret is told. When being nice is real, the problem is solved.

I didn’t know that acting nice and actually being nice were two different states of being. I hated to admit it but when I was acting nice, I was ACTING. What my wife wanted was the real me. But deep down inside I was convinced that the real me wasn’t enough. How could she love someone like me? I didn’t even like me.