If you have a growth mindset, challenges provide new opportunities to change and grow. Challenges can inspire innovation and courageous risk-taking.  Challenging circumstances can even force us out of our comfort zones into new and invigorating environments that help us to learn and grow.  For some who live with a growth mindset, life without challenges is boring, predictable, and mundane.

The nice guy problem can’t be solved until the secret is told. When being nice is real, the problem is solved.

I didn’t know that acting nice and actually being nice were two different states of being. I hated to admit it but when I was acting nice, I was ACTING. What my wife wanted was the real me. But deep down inside I was convinced that the real me wasn’t enough. How could she love someone like me? I didn’t even like me.

The Nice Guy Syndrome starts in childhood as we observe the relationships of adults around us. It’s a maladaptive set of charactaristics and traits employed often by men who are trying not to be like their abusive fathers.

There is much more to recovery than just abstinence. Clean and sober is a great start. That puts you in the waiting room for recovery. You’ve managed to abstain. Some things have gotten better, sure. But some things haven’t changed at all - or they’ve gotten worse! Wasn’t abstinence supposed to solve all these problems? The good news is that while abstinence is a great start, recovery involves healing. I have been clean and sober for over 40 years. But I didn’t start to recover until I started to heal.

A belief system is a system of thoughts that we have decided are true. For the most part, our beliefs are hidden from us. When we are introduced to a concept or idea, we compare that concept or idea to embedded and accepted thoughts (beliefs) in our subconscious. If they match, we feel comfortable.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a groundbreaking therapeutic approach that has transformed countless lives. Rooted in the belief that our psyche is composed of multiple subpersonalities, IFS offers a unique lens to view and understand our inner world.

I’ve been married 3 times. In my first two marriages I experienced a lot of pain, misunderstanding, resentment, and arguments. The relationships didn’t work. I also struggled to connect with my kids through the years. I wasn’t a great father to them.