Nice Guys give to get, a codependent strategey for getting needs met. Nice Girls do it too but in their own ways. Gosha Jacewicz wrote this article of her version of the Nice Girl problem.

Michael Singer surrenders by relaxing and releasing. This article describes how to use the IFS model to surrender.

How is confidence derived? What does it take to have it when you need it? Once you have it, how do you keep it? As a younger man, I often noticed others who exuded confidence. I wanted what they had but had no idea how to get it. They seemed to be sure of themselves and expressed their confidence in the way they dressed, the tone and tempo of their voices, the language they used and their mastery of the storytelling.

Recognizing and acknowledging codependent tendencies is the first step in finding our way back to authentic connection and healthy interdependence.

If you have a growth mindset, challenges provide new opportunities to change and grow. Challenges can inspire innovation and courageous risk-taking.  Challenging circumstances can even force us out of our comfort zones into new and invigorating environments that help us to learn and grow.  For some who live with a growth mindset, life without challenges is boring, predictable, and mundane.

The nice guy problem can’t be solved until the secret is told. When being nice is real, the problem is solved.