This article may help you understand why your life unfolds in predictable patterns, despite your intention to have things go differently. At the end of the article, you will be offered a free tool that can help you begin to break out of lifelong patterns and start living the life you want. What do you expect to happen in your life? The answer is probably evident when you look around and see what you are getting.
We all have a vision for our lives but most of us don’t know what that vision is. In fact, I’m guessing that even those who think they know what their vision is don’t.
When you think about the life you will be living tomorrow, you probably expect it to look a lot like it does today. When you think about the life you will be living a year from now, what do you expect it to look like? Even if your circumstances change between now and next year, you will probably be experiencing life a year from now much like you are experiencing it now unless something changes from the inside out.
I have coached many clients to create a vision for the life they wish to be living in the future. For some, this process has worked very well. With a detailed vision of a future life that inspires and empowers them, clients have been able to change the trajectory of their lives and accomplish what they otherwise would not have.
For others, creating a vision was just one more thing on the to-do list. They followed the instructions and produced a written or visual representation of their future lives, but nothing changed because they weren’t inspired or empowered. They didn’t believe a better life was possible for them.
Why did creating a vision work for some but not for others? I suspect it is because some of my clients expected life to improve in the ways they imagined while others expected life to remain the same.
Most of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors happen automatically and are directed by your unconscious programming. Your programming is made up of…
- your beliefs; what you have decided is true,
- your fears; what you have decided is dangerous,
- your values; what is important and valuable to you, and
- your expectations; what is predictable in your life based on what has happened in the past.
What do you expect to happen in your life? For change to be possible, and for coaching to be helpful, you will need to believe that change is possible. So, before we go any further, do you expect coaching to work? Do you believe you are capable of changing, or of having a different experience of life than what you are accustomed to?
Our expectations are based on our beliefs; what we have decided is true.
If you have decided that you don’t DESERVE to have what you want, you will expect to keep getting what you’ve been getting. You will expect…
- The same level of connection in your relationships
- The same amount of income and savings
- The same standard of living
- The same level of respect from others
- The same sense of overall satisfaction with your life
- The same bad habits
- The same group of friends
- The same everything
If you don’t believe you deserve anything different than what you have now, you can expect to have the same life a year from now.
Whether you take the time to imagine a brighter future or not, if you don’t believe it can happen for you, it probably won’t. Fortunately, changing your disempowering and self-defeating beliefs is one of the things you can expect to happen if you are willing to do the work of changing your beliefs.
If you want to make changes in any area of your life, it’s important to get some insight about what you expect in that area.
A vision can be both conscious and unconscious and it is entirely possible for the unconscious vision to be in conflict with your conscious vision.
Your conscious vision is what you consciously intend and aspire to in your life. Your unconscious vision is what you unconsciously expect. If these two don’t match, the unconscious will win because it is thousands of times more powerful than your conscious mind.
If things are going to change or improve in any area of your life, the unconscious vision must be examined and updated consciously.
Once we are consciously aware of our unconscious vision, we can modify it. In fact, just becoming aware of it begins to change it. Upon examination, you may be surprised to find that what you currently believe, fear, value, and expect is entirely outdated. They no longer accurately reflect the current reality of your life.
- Your unconscious is responsible for what you automatically and involuntarily do and how you automatically live your life.
- We all have an unconscious vision.
- This unconscious vision reflects what we expect to happen in our lives.
- Our expectations are governed by our beliefs including our fears.
- Our beliefs are held in our unconscious.
- If we wish our future life to be different than our past and present life, our unconscious vision must support that expectation.
- Before we can change our unconscious vision to match our intended conscious vision, we need to know what the unconscious vision is. We need to be consciously aware of it
- Once we are consciously aware of our unconscious vision, we can modify it. In fact, just becoming aware of it begins to change it.
Are you ready to align your conscious vision with your unconscious vision?
Click the button below to download a free PDF for an exercise I designed to help you get started.