People ask me to help them when they recognize that how they show up in life automatically gets in the way of having the life that they want. Sometimes they don’t even know what they want in life. They just know they aren’t satisfied with the life they have now.
That’s the way it is for me too sometimes. There are times when I don’t like myself, how I feel, or what’s happening in my life. There are times when I get stuck in thoughts and emotions that are distressing. I’ve done lots of therapy, counseling, and 12-step work to deal with the distress. I’ve read countless books about changing the way I look at things. I constantly have one or two books going. I self-educate. I learn about whatever is on my radar.
Thanks to the progress I’ve made on my own journey, I use what I have learned to help my clients discover some answers for themselves. I’ve needed a lot of help along the way. But it doesn’t work for me to have someone tell me what to do, how to live my life, how I should feel, or how I should think. What works is respect, compassion, curiosity, and honest feedback.
So that’s how I like to work with my clients. I recognize that my clients are the experts in their lives. My job is to help my clients discover their own Inner Expert and to tap into their Personal Power. On that path to discovery, my clients and I find many elements of the self that were created to help but which no longer serve them. Together we treat those parts of the personality with respect and curiosity and ask them to come along on a new path.
I believe we are each capable of Self leadership. I believe that we are not the masks that we present to the world. We are also not what we think we need to hide from the world. Under all of these false ideas of who we are resides who we really are – our true Selves; who we were born as before we became confused about who we really are. I help my clients to reclaim their true identity.
I help my clients to:
- Shift from automatic to aware
- Shift from outside in to inside out
- Develop Self-leadership
- Shift from reactive to creative
From Automatic to Aware
The brain does a terrific job of recognizing patterns and turning them into habits. We automatically respond to life based on the thoughts and beliefs that have become habits. Our automatic responses to life are what determine how we experience life. We are automatically happy or sad, satisfied and content, restless and striving, joyful or miserable, angry or peaceful, insecure or confident. By increasing our awareness about the thoughts and beliefs that have become habits, we begin to change mental habits that may not be serving us.
From Outside-in to Inside-out
Do you trust your own internal guidance? If so, you are living Inside out. Your internal guidance directs your thoughts, feelings, actions and results. Or do you defer to external influences? If so you are living outside-in and may feel victimized or at the mercy of life.
Self-Leadership means trusting your true Self to guide you. It may seem counter-intuitive to trust yourself, especially if you are in the habit of using your past to doubt yourself. As we work together, you will discover that it is possible to develop Self-trust and to eventually rely upon Self-leadership.
From Reactive to Creative
When you operate from automatic habits, from outside-In and without Self-trust, life feels like something to endure, tolerate, and survive. Life becomes a series of events that you react to. By increasing awareness, living inside-out, and developing Self-trust and Self-leadership, you will be inspired to live a life of purpose and learn to live that life on purpose.
I’ve learned that despite appearances, we all struggle from time to time. Struggling doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with us. I’ve come to realize that when I am struggling, there is an opportunity to grow and to learn. When I take advantage of these opportunities, I come out of the struggle with more clarity, more peace, and more Self-trust. f you are struggling, I may have some tools and ideas that could help.
Could coaching help you on your personal development journey? Schedule a free 30-minute discovery conversation.Schedule a free 30-minute discovery conversation.