Webinars and Workshops

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Webinars and Workshops

All webinars and workshops are offered via Zoom video conferencing. Each webinar is filled with valuable information and experiences that provide insight, motivation, and resources for change and personal development.

IFS for ACAs

A webinar to learn how to integrate the Internal Family Systems model into your Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families program

  • Learn about your inner children
  • Access the healing power of True Self
  • Integrate the language of IFS with the ACA program

This is a 2-hour interactive live webinar. Find dates, times, and cost and register here.

I am a survivor of a violent and abusive childhood. I know my folks did the best they could. They both struggled with their own demons and fell into addiction. They were expected to produce children, but no one ever held them to account or modeled how to be a nurturing and loving parent.

So, I took on the job with my younger sisters, becoming a parentified child by the time I was 10 or 11 years old. Fear and anxiety were my normal state of being from about this age. By the time I moved away from home at age 19, I was well on my way to recreating the chaos for the next generation.

When I first saw the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA) laundry list, I knew I’d found my people. Fellow members became my new family. And because I had been introduced to IFS at the age of 60, I found it easy to integrate it into my ACA program.

I identified with 90% of the Laundry List when I attended my first ACoA meeting in 1984. After attending meetings for about a year, I moved away. 35 years later, I started my own meeting. By then, I was down to about 50% identification with the Laundry List. And after about 2 years of weekly attendance and sponsoring a small group of fellow travelers, while integrating the Internal Family Systems model into my program, I could no longer relate to many of the traits.

IFS integrated with ACA works wonders!

In this 2-hour live webinar, I will help you learn about the IFS model and how to integrate it into you ACA recovery.

Developing Self Leadership

A webinar to help you begin the shift from self improvement to self leadership.

  • Why you settle for the life you have and how to change that
  • What stops you from changing
  • Real, permanent change is possible

This is a 2-hour interactive live webinar. Find dates, times, and cost and register here.

As children, when painful or scary things happened, we needed to understand why. If a reasonable explanation wasn’t provided, we made one up. Understanding why a painful thing happened can help us avoid or prevent it from happening again. It is common for children to make up a story about how they themselves caused the painful or scary experience. Armed with an explanation, children can feel empowered and hopeful. “Something about me caused this painful thing to happen. If I can change whatever I did or whoever I am that caused the painful event, I can avoid feeling that pain in the future.”

So, we learn to be actors. Kids are great at pretending. But there is pretending for play and there is pretending to survive.

Entire parts of ourselves are devoted to hiding our secrets forever. They keep the charade going to keep us safe. They do whatever they can to make sure our secrets are not discovered.

Parts that the Internal Family Systems model (IFS) refers to as ‘Managers’ work hard to hide and to improve. Despite their devotion and work ethic, they eventually fail. When others seem to see past our act, we feel the pain of shame. Shame that others might have seen us for who we are afraid we are. ‘Firefighter’ parts quickly jump in with strategies to numb the pain and restore order and reputation.

Firefighters will override any other priority until they can relax, knowing that they have safely secured the secret.

When shame gets in, the shameful ‘truth’ about us has been exposed. A belief is a thought that is held as true. A belief doesn’t have to be true, it only has to be believed. When we believe that something is wrong or deficient about us, and when it seems others might see our deficiency, we shame ourselves.

If what I have written here rings true, you may be ready for change. What if your autonomous and automatic survival behaviors could be updated? What if you parts knew that the ‘secret’ was never true in the first place? What if you could drop all the effort and energy required to hide and perform?