When you say yes, what are you saying yes to? When you say yes, what are you saying no to?
You may be asked to give your money, effort, attention or time.
You may be asked to give your money.
Each time you spend money, you are saying yes to what you are spending money on and no to what you no longer have that money for. To get clear about what you are saying yes and no to, make a budget and keep track of what you are actually spending your money on.
Then, each week ask yourself, “Did I say yes to everything on my budget?” If not, notice that what you said yes to is more important than what you said no to on the budget. If you’re good with that, change your budget. If you’re not ok with that, change your choices.
You may be asked to give your effort.
Effort requires energy. How much energy we have is influenced by a variety of factors. The most obvious of those factors is diet and sleep. Fueling and resting aside, how we spend our energy either drains our energy reserves or recharges them. Generally speaking, when we put effort into what we love and enjoy, time flies and we are energized by the effort. When we put effort into what we dislike and don’t enjoy, time drags and we drain our energy reserves.
What are you saying yes to in the effort category? Do your yeses recharge you or drain you?
You may be asked to give your attention.
Our bodies respond to the focus of our attention. This response takes the form of emotions and energy.
Whatever you focus your attention on will empower you or disempower you. The better you feel, the more empowered you are and the easier it is to make choices that serve you. The worse you feel, the less empowered you are and the harder it is to make good choices.
Focusing on what should be is disempowering. Focusing on what is empowers you.
Are you giving your attention to what should be or to what is?
What are you saying yes to with your attention?
You may be asked to give your time.
Here is a process for making decisions about how to spend your time. You can’t save any for later, you have to spend it all.
We all start each Monday through Friday 5-day period with 120 hours.
How many hours will you work? ______ hours at work
How many hours will you sleep? ______hours sleeping
How many hours will you prepare food, shop for food, eat and clean up? _____hours for eating
How many hours bathing, showering, brushing teeth, grooming, etc ________ hours for hygiene,
How many hours traveling to and from? _______hours commuting
Total # hours used___________
120 hours – Total hours used __________ = ______ of discretionary time.
How do you want to spend that ______ hours of discretionary time?
_____TV and Entertainment
_____Social life, friends and family
_____Reading, spiritual practices
_____ Relaxation time
_____ Total hours of discretionary time used _____ Remaining hours of free time
Your best friend calls and asks you to join them for lunch. If you say yes, you will drive 45 minutes to meet them downtown, spend an hour at lunch, and drive 45 minutes back home or to the office. That’s 2 ½ hours.
Given your time budget, your values and interests and your commitments what is your honest answer, yes or no?
- If yes, what are you saying yes to? Are you saying yes to something that is in or out of your time budget?
- If yes, what are you saying no to? Hint, you are probably saying no to something that is in your time budget.
- If no, what are you saying yes to? Hint, you’re probably saying yes to something in your time budget. If it’s not in your budget, maybe it should be.
- If no, what are you saying no to? Hint, you’re probably saying no to something that’s not in your time budget.
It is your life. What you give your money, effort, attention, and time to is determined by your yeses and noes. If you like what you’re getting in life, consider that your yeses and noes are balanced. If you don’t like what you’re getting in life, what do you need to start saying yes to that you are currently saying no to? And what do you need to say no to that you are currently saying yes to?
Your choices create a life to survive, endure, hate, or love.
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