Relationships can be challenging and rewarding. Relationships can also be the apparent source of joy or misery. Look at your most significant relationship. How you react to your partner is mostly automatic. How you react is determined by how you see them and what it means to you that they are who they are and do what they do. Without self-awareness, your view and your reactions are predetermined.
Although it can often feel like the only answer, trying to change the other to alleviate your suffering or increase fulfillment does not work because the healing must begin within. Self-discovery leads to self-awareness and changes your view. I help my clients discover who they are and who they are not and I help couples make decisions about their relationships from a place of power rather than conflict.
I have completed the first training in the Intimacy from the Inside Out model (https://www.toniherbineblank.com/trainings.htmland) am scheduled for another training in October and another in February.
My approach is also influenced by Terry Real who has an online course my wife and I are currently enjoying. www.TerryReal.com .
When I meet with couples, it works well to meet with the individuals and with the couple.
A typical monthly schedule might be
- 1 session with each individual per month. Individual Sessions are 50 – 60 minutes.
- 2 sessions with the couple. Couple sessions are 60 to 75 minutes.
The monthly cost for this is $1000.
I recommend a commitment of 6 months but offer a one month trial to give all parties a chance to measure fit and feel.
The Self-Led Project is a group coaching program I designed to work with up to 12 participants at a time in a group setting. Sessions are 90 minutes long. Groups meet weekly for 12 sessions for each of the three modules in the program. The Self-Led Project is inspired by the Internal Family Systems model. Its purpose is to help participants develop internal leadership which enables them to get external results that match their purpose and passion.
Group Coaching offers a powerful dynamic that isn’t experienced with individual coaching. The Self-Led Project group provides a safe and structured environment where you and all your parts feel welcome. Participants benefit from the insights, discoveries, and experiences of their peers and very quickly develop a sense of connection and belonging.
Individual Coaching using IFS
The coaching relationship with individual clients adapts to the needs and objectives of the client. One-on-one coaching is for individuals who want to get different results in life and who are willing to actively engage in the personal development journey.
When coaching individuals, I draw from a broad set of tools, concepts, distinctions, and exercises informed by the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model and The Work of Byron Katie. I also use my training and experience in mindset coaching and project design for setting objectives, identifying effective strategies, and holding curious space and compassionate support for client breakdowns.
I am a Certified Internal Family Systems Practitioner which means that I have participated in training, consultation, and demonstration of my aptitude in facilitating the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model (IFS-Institute.com). As a personal development coach, I have never found a more effective approach than IFS to help my clients live as the highest version of themselves.
This is important because when we try to show up the way we think we should, we lack confidence. When operating from a fabricated and polished version of ourselves, we doubt ourselves and fear being exposed. IFS helps my clients think, feel, and act as their authentic and innately powerful Selves.
While I still use the scaffolding and structure of traditional mindset and accountability coaching, I often lean on what I have learned about our inner world of subpersonalities or “parts”. When my clients find themselves in disempowering patterns, I help them connect with parts of themselves that are probably invested in the repeated pattern. When my clients are faced with ambiguity, I use IFS to help them gain clarity. The benefits of using IFS in coaching are deep and broad and create real possibility without compromise or excessive effort.
While IFS is a therapy model, I am not a therapist and don’t do therapy with my client in the legal or licensing sense. Much of what we do together is therapeutic for the client. But there is a difference between therapy and coaching. To learn more about how I view this difference, read my article, Coaching or Therapy. And to learn more about how I use IFS in coaching, read my article The IFS Difference in Coaching.