The Self-Led Project

A Coaching Program to Develop Self Leadership

What the Self-Led Project is.

The Self-Led Project is a coaching program which uses concepts, tools, exercises, and practices informed and inspired by the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model for personal development. It is designed to help coaching clients develop Self leadership to reclaim power and choice in their lives.

What the Self-Led Project is not.

The Self-Led Project is not a training program for the Internal Family Systems model. While participants in this coaching program will learn how to use the model for their own personal development, the Self-Led Project is not designed for, nor intended to provide training for the IFS model. To retain the integrity of the IFS model, any training for the model should be approved and endorsed by the IFS Institute (

Is the Self-Led Project a good fit for you?


The Self-Led Project may be a good fit for you if:

  • You want to learn more about your parts and Self. The Self-Led Project will definitely help you with this. The majority of this program is devoted to helping you to learn about and get to know the parts of your internal family of subpersonalities.
  • You are in therapy for healing with an IFS therapist or are a client of an IFS trained practitioner and want coaching to get some traction in your life. Perfect! You are in the right place. The Self-Led Project is a coaching program designed to accomplish just that. As you get close to your exiles, they may be ready to unburden. While I am a trained practitioner, I won’t attempt to facilitate an unburdening in the group program. If you are an individual Self-Led Project client, because I have been trained by the IFS Institute to do so, I will help you unburden your exiles when the time is right. However, I recommend you use and IFS trained therapist or other IFS practitioner to unburden your exiles. That frees us to remain focused on creating a present and future with less suffering and more joy.
  • You are using IFS in therapy, with a practitioner, or in practice groups and benefit from your IFS sessions, but find that you aren’t staying connected with your parts or practicing parts work between sessions. The structure and flow of the Self-Led Project will help you understand your internal system better while providing support, accountability, and methodology for doing your work between sessions. Combining knowledge and insight with practice is a great formula for change.
  • You have read books and/or participated in workshops, webinars, or practice groups and want to learn more about how to apply what you are learning to your own life. The Self-Led Project will serve you well. With 36 exercises designed to access and develop relationships with the parts that show up in challenging circumstances, you will gain new tools that will help you stay harmoniously connected with your inner world for the rest of your life.
  • You want to learn how to use IFS in your business. By applying what you learn and using the exercises and practices of the Self-Led Project, you will develop the Self leadership needed to lead yourself and others. Additionally, as you become Self-led, you will regain the power and choice needed to make excellent business decisions.
  •  You want to learn how to use IFS for your own personal development. I’ve been on a personal development journey for four decades and have never found anything more efficient than IFS for personal development.


The Self-Led Project is not for you if:

  • You want to learn how to use the IFS model to help other people. There is no doubt that participating fully in the Self-Led Project will make you a better leader, teacher, coach, mediator, negotiator, salesperson, or all-around helper of others. However, this program is not a training program for the Internal Family Systems model. If that is what you are looking for, please go to to learn about your training options.
  • You are willing to spend money and time to participate but are not willing to do the work. Passive consumption of this program will make little or no difference in your life. Successful participation in the Self-Led Project will require a commitment to do the hard work of personal development. The bookstores are full of best-selling self-help books that have been read but not applied. If this describes you, working with the parts of you that resist doing the work could turn this all around for you.
  • You are looking for a how-to method or teacher to show you how to live your life and tell you what to do. Participants in the Self-Led Project will learn how to get to know and work with the parts of their inner world. And they will discover who they really are as they shed beliefs about who they think they are or try to be. As the Self-Led Project coach, I will teach and demonstrate how to do the work. But it’s up to you to apply what you learn so you can make clear and wise choices about how to live your life.

The Self-Led Project Looks Like a Good Fit For Me

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What Can You Expect When Participating in the Self-Led Project?

This Self-Led Project coaching program is designed to help you develop Self leadership when you fully participate in the one-year program. As you develop Self leadership, you can expect:

  • To gain clarity about who you are
  • To gain confidence as you navigate the challenges and opportunities of your life
  • To respond more compassionately to others
  • To act courageously in the face of events that currently intimidate you
  • To feel more connected to the people in your life
  • To develop and gain access to innate wisdom
  • To develop the ability to focus internally with curiosity
  • To develop relationships with and gain understanding of your subpersonalities or parts
  • To increase your available capacity for creativity
  • To shift from surviving to thriving in your life


The Self-Led Project workbook has five parts

  • Part 1, The False Shame Model
  • Part 2, Learning About Your Parts
  • Part 3, Getting to Know the Parts of You
  • Part 4, Practical Applications Using IFS in Coaching
  • Part 5, Documenting and Mapping Your Parts

The workbook was designed to walk you, step by step, through a process that will help you view yourself and others with more understanding and compassion. The Internal Family Systems model is at the core of the Self-Led Project. But to understand how the Internal Family System works, I have designed exercises that will help you recognize how it is already operating in your life. To do this, Part 1 of the workbook is devoted to the False Shame model which I created before I was introduced to IFS. I included the False Shame model in this workbook so that you, the participant could benefit as I did from understanding myself in this way.

The content and exercises in 29 pages of this workbook focus on the False Shame model. The remaining pages are devoted to learning about your parts using the IFS model.

Each of the exercises in this workbook will help you understand yourself at a very deep level. To prepare for this, gather as much curiosity and courage as you can to be fully engaged as this coaching program helps you answer two important questions:

What makes me think, feel, and act as I do?

How can I change the thoughts, feelings, and actions that aren’t working for me?

Take your time with each of the exercises in Part 1, The False Shame Model, and expand awareness of your automatic reactions to the circumstances of your life.

With this heightened self-awareness, Part 2, Learning About Your Parts will introduce you to the Internal Family Systems model.

Many of the exercises in Part 2 duplicate those in Part 1. This is useful because it will deepen and broaden how you understand What makes me think, feel, and act as you do and will enable you to gain access to your compassionate and wise Self.

Completion of Parts 1 and 2 will prepare you for Part 3, Getting to Know the Parts of You. In Part 3, you will be introduced to your uniquely personal internal family of subpersonalities or parts.

Part 4, Practical Applications using IFS in Coaching, shows you how to leverage all you have learned about your Self and your parts. After getting familiar with your internal system of parts, you can begin working with them to help you solve the problems you encounter in your life and to create the life you want. Part 4 helps you begin to change the thoughts, feelings, and actions that aren’t working for you.

Finally, Part 5, Documenting and Mapping Your Parts, is designed to help you map your journey and document what you are learning about your internal world.

The Self-Led Project uses exercises to help you transform your self-view and enable you to recover the leadership of your internal life and external experiences. Each exercise expands self-awareness and builds on the previous exercises. Give yourself plenty of time to work through each exercise at least once. Many of the exercises are designed to be used on a regular basis to connect with your parts. The Self-Led Project takes one year to complete in a coaching group or when working individually with a coach.

If you will devote the time and do the work needed to complete the Self-Led Project curriculum, your perspective and experience of life will transform.

Finally, I’m not one who can believe what doesn’t make sense. I’m also not one who can place my faith in something or someone I don’t trust. I don’t expect you to believe me unless it makes sense or to have faith in me if you don’t trust what I have written or what I say.

During our coaching sessions I will expect you to take the role of expert in your own life. How could anyone else know more than you do about you? I also ask that you do not assign authority to me for what is true for you. Don’t believe a word I have written. Don’t believe a word I say. At least not until you have checked with yourself first. If anything I’ve written or said doesn’t resonate with you, let’s discuss it. As Brene Brown says, I’m not here to be right. I’m here to get it right. (

If you’ve read this far, I assume that you believe the Self-Led Project is a good fit for you.

You’ve read about what you can expect by participating and you’ve seen how the Self-Led Project can answer the two questions,

What makes me think, feel, and act as I do?
How can I change the thoughts, feelings, and actions that aren’t working for me?


If you believe that the Self-Led Project is a good fit, then it’s time to get started.


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