When choosing a life coach, I recommend that you learn about the values that inform their coaching. If those values resonate at a frequency that harmonizes with yours, you’re off to a good start. If not, keep looking.
Value #1, Empowerment
Empowering the client. I help the client learn to trust themselves.
I watch and listen for power leaks and help the client recognize when they have given their power away. By helping the client to be and feel empowered, they learn to trust themselves to be the experts in their own lives. Empowerment happens as the client acknowledges all parts of themselves with a commitment to understand and appreciate their parts. As trust is built internally, the client reclaims power and makes a shift from surviving the life they have to creating the life they want.
Value #2, Insight
Facilitating Insight. I act as a guide to help the client access insights that will provide an empowered perspective.
I help clients access insight by introducing them to perspectives and possibilities they are not currently aware of. By helping clients realize what they don’t know they don’t know, they are able to experience and accomplish what was previously beyond what they could have imagined.
Value #3, Choice
Access to choice. Acknowledging and practicing conscious choice provides access to personal power.
By pointing out the automaticity of my clients’ lives and demonstrating curiosity about their unconscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, I help my clients to live consciously in ways that reflect what is valuable and important to them.
Value #4, Healing
Helping the client to heal the past to empower them in the present.
Healing is not typically something that can be expected in life coaching. But because of my training in the IFS model, I am able to facilitate healing the past. This enables the client to powerfully and authentically respond to the circumstances of their present lives with freedom and choice.
Value #5, Blank Canvas
The personal development work I have done enables me to leave my agenda at the door which makes room for the client’s agenda.
Because I do my own work, I create a safe space for my clients to explore and discover what is true for them. This enables my clients to freely design the life they want.
Value #6, Listening
Listening and reflecting. I listen to what is and isn’t being said to acknowledge and honor all aspects of the client and what is important to them.
I paraphrase what I have heard so the client knows I have heard them. I ask questions to fully understand. And I ask about what the client isn’t saying. This may be the beginning of self understanding for the client and may give them access to wisdom and insight. Listening in this way demonstrates how to honor and respect all parts of them.
Value #7, The Client is the Expert
The client is the expert in their lives. My job is to coach my clients so they can tap into their innate wisdom and to develop internal leadership.
When a client requests or grants permission for me to offer any ideas, I offer them without any attachment to their acceptance. While I value the client’s trust and work hard to earn it, helping the client to trust themselves holds the highest value in the coach to client relationship.
Value #8, Authenticity
I demonstrate and model authenticity and help my clients discover their authentic true selves.
My clients get the most authentic and current version of me in each session. I work with my own upset or concerned parts so that I can be present during the coaching session. When I recognize that I have brought my own agenda or that I have made a mistake, I acknowledge it so I can get out of the way of the client. Helping the client to discover their most authentic true self gives them access to wisdom and power that isn’t otherwise available.
Value #9, I Do My Work
I don’t ask my client to do what I haven’t done.
When I offer suggestions to a client, I draw from my personal experience. Because I have struggled, suffered, failed, and succeeded throughout my life, and because I have been helped effectively by coaches, therapists, books, trainers, and mentors, I have tested and proven the methods that I use and suggest.
Value #10, Humility
I know my limitations and don’t try to pretend beyond my own evolution.
There is no one approach or coaching model that meets the needs of all clients. When my skill set, experience, and coaching tools are not appropriate to the needs of the client, I acknowledge my limitations and make an appropriate referral.
Value #11, Compassionate Relatability
When appropriate, I share my past and my path in compassionate support of my clients self-awareness and growth.
Because I have been on a healing path for nearly 40 years, I have formed the habit of self inquiry, healing, and repair. When I am faced with challenges and opportunities in my life, I follow the same guidance that I offer my clients.
My inner critic has become far more quiet over the past four decades. This correlates with the healing I have done from the traumatic circumstances of my earlier life. I have compassion for myself and naturally extend it to my clients.
Value #12, Responsibility and Repair
When I get it wrong and some of my stuff gets on you, I clean it up.
I tell the truth that I know. I acknowledge when I get it wrong and immediately do repairs. I am willing to have hard conversations because I have learned that it is easier to acknowledge the truth than to pretend it doesn’t exist. When I learn a new truth I tell it.
Value #13, Structure
Using a structure that supports the agenda of the client enables the client to get the value they hired me to help them get.
While there is great value in improvisation, I believe that a structure agreed upon between the client and coach provides predictability and accountability.
Value #14, Accountability
We agree to keep our word.
I keep my commitments or negotiate new ones when I break a commitment or when keeping a commitment is not possible. I expect the same from my clients and respectfully ask them to take responsibility for the commitments they make. I approach breakdowns with curiosity and an opportunity for growth and personal development.
Value #15, Partnership
The coach/ client relationship is a partnership with defined roles and agreements that are clearly communicated and agreed upon.
Responsibility for results is shared between client and coach. As coach, I am responsible for creating a safe and supportive environment for the client to heal, learn, and grow. The client is responsible for the choices, commitments, and actions that grow out of that environment. Our partnership is responsible for the results that the client gets in coaching.
Value #16, Communication
When in doubt, I offer or request clarifying communication.
Nothing goes without saying at least once. At the core of dysfunctional relationships is an agreement to avoid discussion of what is painful or difficult. I model courageous and clear communication to maximize coaching results for the client.
Value #17, Spirituality
I believe that at the core of a human being is the essential true Self which is spiritual in nature.
The true Self is supported by constellations of sub-personalities which are also spiritual in nature. I have faith in the positive intentions of sub-personalities and the loving and healing qualities of the true Self. I believe that true Self serves as the internal leader which derives guidance from the Divine. Regardless of the religious or spiritual beliefs of the client, I honor the true Self of the client, of their sub-personalities, and of their Source.