You’ve probably noticed that, despite bumper sticker wisdom, it’s not so easy to leave the past in the past.
That’s why there are so many people seeking answers from…
- 12 Step programs
- Self-help books
- Retreats, workshops, webinars, and seminars
…and so much more.
It’s not a surprise that so many people have joined us in the personal development. At first, we begin working on ourselves because life isn’t going as well as we think it should. If our efforts to change flounder, we either resign ourselves to the lives we have or find a way to change our circumstances.
Believing we are somehow to blame for our suffering or discouragement, we search for strategies and systems the will fix whatever is wrong with us.
Some give up, believing they are destined to repeat patterns of dysfunction and suffering for the rest of their lives. They reduce themselves to numbing and distraction.
It can be frustrating to read the self-improvement books, listen to motivational speakers, and dedicate yourself to self-help movements only to find yourself making the same mistakes and feeling the same old familiar disappointment. If what you are doing to develop yourself isn’t making a difference does it mean that you are simply not capable of changing?
In most cases, what we are seeking on our personal development journey is connection. Until we realize that what is causing our pain and dysfunction is disconnection, we could spend the rest of our lives working on ourselves without ever finding the connection we so desperately crave.
After a decades-long search for a path to reconnection, I found it with the IFS model. Let me save you some time and suffering. Look no further than the Internal Family Systems model for a method that works to reconnect to yourself.
With the help of IFS, I learned that I was disconnected from others because I was disconnected from myself.
How, you might wonder, is it possible to disconnect from yourself?
When we think of ourselves as individuals with one mind that is incapable of arguing with itself, it doesn’t seem possible to be disconnected from ourselves.
But, according to the evidence-based Internal Family Systems model, our minds consist of various specialized “parts” which mainly operate outside of conscious awareness. These parts of the mind, when separated from the essence or “Self” of a person attempt to run the show, unaware that there is a Self which is fully capable of running our lives.
Being human means having multiple parts that influence what we believe, how we think and feel, and what we do. This influence is practically constant, and shows up when the circumstances of our lives activate our parts.
Think about the last time you had to make a decision. Very likely, one part influenced you to consider one option while another part influenced you to consider something else. These two influences occurred at the very same time.
Have you ever had the experience, when attempting to manage your time, of being hijacked by the voices in your head? One voice is concerned that you will be late for an appointment while another convinces you that you can get one more thing done before you leave. The second voice wins out and makes you late for your appointment.
When emotional wounding takes place at any time in life, our parts often disconnect from us and take over. Until these parts reconnect with us, they continue to operate from the past as rogue agents in our unconscious inner world, unaware of a core essence which is fully capable of providing wise inner leadership. IFS refers to this essence as Self.
Our capacity to connect with others is in direct proportion to the connection we have ourselves.
I am a Certified IFS Practitioner. Using the Internal Family Systems model, I help my clients reconnect with themselves so they can increase their capacity for connection with others.
The search is over. IFS can help you discover what has been missing and help you restore full connection to yourself and the important people in your life.
Attend the IFS for ACAs webinar
The IFS for ACAs webinar will introduce you to some of the concepts that are used in the IFS model and in the Self-Led Project Personal Development Training program.
New Group Starts Soon
A new Self-Led Project group begins next week. Using the Internal Family Systems Model, participants will learn that there is nothing wrong with them. Learn to tap into the incredible power available in a Self-directed life.
What if I started an IFS practice group that met for 90 minutes once a week and I charged what you could afford from $10 – $20 per session? Would you be interested?