Yesterday I met with a new client who believes that bad things happen to him.
“Bad things happen to me,” was a mantra that lived in him like a truth.
He had proof. Lots of it. Past, present and, he was sure…future.
He was familiar with the Law of Attraction. He had tried it, he said and it didn’t work.
He changed his focus. Someone had told him to focus on what he wanted.
Try it. Go ahead. Focus on what you want. Make your mind focus on what you want.
Try it for a day.
Notice, when you aren’t trying to control your thoughts, when you forget to control your focus, where your mind goes.
Your mind goes to what you have and what you’ve had, what you are experiencing or have experienced, or what you don’t want but can’t seem to stop getting.
You focus on these thoughts automatically. It’s your program and it just keeps looping and looping.
And unless you change those programmed expectations, the automatic-ness of it will take over when you aren’t overriding it and will attract just what you have been getting – just what you expect to keep getting.
So, The Law of Attraction doesn’t work. Right? So it seems.
What if you could change your program? How would you do that?
The program I’m referring to is a set of beliefs. The only way past a belief is through it.
Not around it, over it, under it or avoiding it. Through it.
For example, go through the belief, “bad things happen to me.”
When that is the lens through which you view life, (if that is what you automatically focus on) you will see only evidence that it’s true. So, you get to be right. The darn Law of Attraction is at it again!
The Thought that Saved you Rules your Kingdom
When you crown a thought as the truth, it takes over. Since it lives in you like the truth, you start building a life around it. You feed it, clothe it, keep it warm, protect it. Ultimately, you become that thought’s servant.
At some point, the thought was the best explanation you could come up with for the messed-upped-ness of life. The thought saved you by giving you some hope and a sense of control. That’s what we do when life rolls over us. We get scared and try to find something to hold on to. Something we can use to help us get back up again. Why did it happened in the first place? Why did I get rolled over? Oh, because I wasn’t paying enough attention and because I didn’t realize that bad things happen to me if I don’t pay attention. Now I know. Bad things happen to me.
So you start paying more attention. You become watchful. Vigilant. Careful. Life becomes a chess game, and you are three moves ahead of it. Then, when life serves up that bad thing – when the steamroller comes by again, you are able to avoid it. But in avoiding that bad thing you saw coming, you step into the path of that bus you didn’t see coming. Which proves you were right. Bad things happen to you unless you pay even more attention. Take fewer risks and don’t trust anyone. Make yourself a smaller target.
Challenging Your Truths
Time for a de-throning. Just seeing that you are the servant of the thought begins to loosen the grip of the tyrant. But the thought is true…right?
What if it’s not even true? Sure – the thought helped you survive when it first came to you. But was it ever actually true? You believed it was. It was your best guess to explain what happened. Time to look again. Is it true now? Today? In this moment? What if you could break out of your self-imposed prison? Who would you be in your life if you didn’t believe that bad things happen to you?
What if you started looking for evidence that “bad things happen to me” isn’t the truth? Could you find proof that good things happen to you?
You might start noticing good things happening to you.
Like being supported. How are you supported, right now, at this moment?
Gravity. It’s holding you to the planet. Our home is a ball in the sky which is traveling 67,000 miles per hour and spinning 450 meters per second. Why aren’t you getting flung off of it? Your friend, gravity is supporting you.
Oxygen. It’s free. And the earth’s atmosphere holds 20.9% of it. All you have to do is breath it. And if you are in good health, your body is doing that for you.
It looks like there is some evidence that good things happen to you.
What’s good? What’s bad? Look at what you think. What have you crowned as the truth? What prison have you built for yourself?
How To Attract Something Different in Life
To attract something different into your life than what you have been getting, you will have to change the lens through which you view life. Just painting over rust doesn’t change anything. You still have a rust problem. It just looks better for a while.
Thinking positive thoughts doesn’t change what you believe. And what you believe forms the lens through which you view life. Maybe there’s more to this whole Law of Attraction thing than you previously thought.
To change a belief, notice your thoughts about what is happening in your life. Look around and look at life as it is for you. If there is rust, own it. Now, what are your judgments when you notice the rust? Those judgments are the thoughts that you think. And unless you question those thoughts, you will believe them.
Your judgments about the reality of your life create that reality.
I’ve looked around for years and have not been able to find an “off” button for judgment. I can’t just shut it off. I judge. We judge. Our judgments are clues; symptoms of our beliefs. Let’s start there. To change a belief, list your judgments, your interpretations, your stories about the rust in your life. Creating these lists will begin to cut the rust out. When you see that what you have believed is just an interpretation of what is happening, space is created for reality to show up as it is.
So you aren’t changing a belief. You are exposing it as the fraud it is and setting yourself free from all you do in your life to accommodate it. Freedom. What do you do with that?
Are you ready to change your beliefs and mindset to attract more freedom into your life to be the person you deserve to be? Clear away the cobwebs of dread and start thinking about your ideal life.
Get Your Power Back!
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