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Many who grew up in scary and unsafe homes believe they are broken and unfixable. Here’s what I believe. You, me, and everyone else were born as perfect, whole, and complete human beings. But some of us were born into lives that had to be survived. For those of us who have learned how to endure, tolerate, and survive life, there doesn’t seem to be any other possibility. Part of the way we survived was to make up what was wrong with us to explain why we were treated the way we were. Making ourselves the cause of a painful life gave us hope that maybe we could change enough to reduce the fear and pain. We came up with strategies to survive that worked. But those same strategies that were necessary at one point in our lives make it impossible to have any other kind of life now. So the strategies have to be dropped. That’s not an easy thing for two reasons.
- Because these strategies are all we know, we use them exclusively. If we knew another way to live, we would live that way. But we don’t. So we automatically and unconsciously repeat the same patterns and continue to live lives that must be endured, tolerated, and survived.
- Because our survival strategies are unconscious, we can’t just decide to change and expect to sustain the effort required to keep trying to think, feel, and act differently than we are programmed to think, feel, and act.
This is what seems unfixable. How, when everything we have ever tried fails, do we fix the unfixable?
Here’s what I have learned.
How I think, feel, and act brings about the conditions of my life.
I think, feel, and act according to what I believe is true about me and about the world I live in.
I think, feel, and act according to what I believe about the people in my life, about my safety, about my value and worth, about my potential, about my intelligence, and about what is possible for me.
If I can change what I believe about all of this, my thoughts, feelings, and actions will change AUTOMATICALLY AND EFFORTLESSLY.
When I say this is what I learned, what I really mean is that this is exactly what I have experienced. I have had my personal power restored. I have recovered my true Self and I get to live a life now full of choices, full of joy, full of connection. I have a fulfilling life and so can you. There are many paths to this reality. The only thing to fix is what you believe. Everything else will take care of itself.
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