Dealing With Opposing Internal Voices
Photo by Victoria Borodinova from Pexels Opposing internal voices (or parts of us) can... make it hard to decide make it difficult to fulfill on commitments by taking the actions required block the ability to envision clearly cause self doubt reduce confidence...
Overcoming Who You Think You Are
Photo by James Sutton from Pexels Listen to this article. Who do you think you are? When I first heard that question, I was stunned. It was a profound question indeed. But it didn’t really land as an invitation to consider life’s deeper...
A Negative Opinion of Yourself
What causes it and what to do about it. When you look in the mirror, who is looking back? How do you feel toward that image? For me, it seems to vary each time I look and that is a huge improvement. At one time, I couldn’t stand to look in the mirror at all, other...
Insecurity in Love Relationships
Image by John Hain from Pixabay Many otherwise highly functioning men and women experience some level of insecurity in their love relationships. Most of us know at some level that there is no current reason to feel insecure and yet we feel insecure. What is the...
Fear of Rejection, Abandonment, Conflict, or Criticism
We are able to feel fear because fear can help us quickly and efficiently act to avoid harm or death when there is a real threat to our safety. But living with fear of rejection, abandonment, conflict, or criticism does just the opposite. This kind of chronic,...
You’re Not Alone
You were raised in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family You are attracted to dysfunctional partners You are recovering from addiction for at least 3 months You feel like a fraud You are afraid to just be yourself You are insecure in your love relationships You’re...
The Core Belief Log
The Core Belief Log One of the tools I use with my clients is called the Core Belief Log. When, during our coaching a belief is uncovered, I ask my clients to record the belief in the Core Belief Log. Noticing our beliefs and logging them is important because......
Breaking the Pattern
In any relationship there are times to talk and times not to. If you are mentally present and open, it may be time to talk. If you are distracted or triggered its not. How do you know if you are mentally present? Your mind is on what is happening now. What is being...
The Perfect Storm
Uncertainty Institutional Mistrust Misinformation Loneliness Change Insecurity Intimacy Issues Job and Income loss If you're scared, that makes sense. Will you respond to your fear with hatred and blame? Or with love and compassion? Our automatic lives are no longer...
Is Addiction Recovery Possible?
Most of us know someone who is struggling with addiction issues. How to recover from an addiction is not an exact science. There are countless approaches, most with some success. There is an entire addiction recovery industry that exists to address the issue. Why...
Climb the Ladder to Personal Empowerment
I created a tool that was inspired by Esther and Jerry Hicks in their book, Ask and it is Given, The Teachings of Abraham. I named the tool Climb the Ladder because by using it, I and my clients are able to use it to quickly climb to an empowered state before taking...
Are you Coping or are you Curious?
What do you endure in your life? What do you tolerate? What do you survive? Your daughters drill team performance that goes on for hours. Your son’s attitude toward you. Your job, business or career that pays the bills but drains your lust for life. A relationship...
The Internal Guidance System
I’m certainly not the first person to think of feelings as an internal guidance system. When I was first introduced to the idea, it thrilled me to consider that I could trust myself. I loved the thought that I had an internal mechanism to guide me and wanted to...
Working with On-Air Personality, Angela Dodson
A few months back I got a call from an old friend, Clyde. In 1978 I was an assistant store manager for Rosauer’s, a local food store chain. I hired Clyde when he was 16 years old as a courtesy clerk. We’ve stayed in touch over the years. Today Clyde works for...
True Self Leadership
What is True Self Leadership? You, like many people, may be in the habit of attempting to manage and control aspects of yourself that you don’t like. This effort to minimize and control who we are creates an internal tension or pressure. From time to time, life...
Survival or Growth Mindset?
Life’s challenges can provide plenty of opportunity for growth or they can overwhelm us. If you have a growth mindset, challenges provide new opportunities to change and grow. Challenges can inspire innovation and courageous risk taking. Challenging circumstances...
The Source and Meaning of Emotional Pain
What causes emotional pain? A belief system is a system of thoughts that we have decided are true. For the most part, our beliefs are hidden from us. When we are introduced to a concept or idea, we compare that concept or idea to embedded and accepted thoughts...
What are Your Parts Telling You?
After completing a one-year coach training program, my confidence was at an all-time low and I seriously considered quitting my Life Coaching career. A part of me was convinced that I was a fool to think I could be a successful life coach. In 2011, while working as a...
Fear, Resistance and Action
No time to read this article? Listen to it instead. Fear. What do you do when you are feeling it? Does it stop you? Do you work around it? Does it limit you? Do you push your way past it? In the coaching world, one of our jobs as coaches is to help our...
Hope and Expectation
What do you expect your life to look like in a year? What do you hope your life will be like in a year? What we expect is based on what is happening now and what has happened in the past. For many of us, what is happening now is a version of what has happened in the...
I’m not trying hard enough
What are you trying hard to do? Today is day 25 of my 30 day thought diet. I was inspired to make this commitment after waking up at 5 AM in Kauai 25 days ago with anxiety and no present justification for it. I got out of bed and began listing all of my thoughts,...
How I Leveraged my Complaints to Create the Life I Wanted
I’m not proud of this. But I used to complain about my life. A lot. I’ve often wondered why I complained so much. Eventually, I realized that complaining is a leftover from my childhood when I was entirely and naturally dependent. You can read more about that in...
Seven Things I have Learned About Anxiety
About 25 years ago, I stepped away from the living of my life far enough to make a profound observation. I saw that my life consisted of a series of reactions to the circumstances in my life. Further, I realized that I was reacting to my interpretations of those...
What to do When it’s Hard to Decide
As a coach, when a client comes to me with a problem, I am tempted to try to resolve the problem for them. But this is rarely helpful. Solving the problem for a client is like feeding a man a fish. My clients think they want me to solve their problems. But what...
Tapping Into Your Internal Team
True Self Recovery. A new Coaching Program for those who feel stuck. Inspired by the Internal Family Systems Therapy model, I have created a new coaching model to help discover and explore your Internal Team. Your Internal Team is made up of beliefs and attitudes...
Testimonial from Carly Cloer
I was hitting my head against a wall. I knew I was getting in my own way but I didn’t know how to change it. I knew I was meant to work on my own and not answer to anyone. I knew that my life’s calling was not what I was doing. I was constantly trying to fit a...
How can I help?
People ask me to help them when they recognize that how they show up in life automatically gets in the way of having the life that they want. Sometimes they don't even know what they want in life. They just know they aren't satisfied with the life they have now....
The Yes and No of Yes
When you say yes, what are you saying yes to? When you say yes, what are you saying no to? You may be asked to give your money, effort, attention or time. Money You may be asked to give your money. Each time you spend money, you are saying yes to what you are...
Harry’s Breakthrough Success Club Success Story
Harry was referred to me by the doctor who employed him. He joined Breakthrough Success Club when his boss offered to pay for his coaching. But when his children’s mother decided to move to another state, he quit his job and followed them there to be in their...
How are you. Why do you ask?
How are you? It’s a greeting more than a question. But it’s still a question. Both the question and the answer are usually automatic. Want to create an awkward moment? Answer How ya doin? with a real answer. What’s your automatic answer to How are you? Fine....
5 Rs to Remember When Giving Feedback
When it comes to giving feedback, you probably fall into one of three categories: You have a lot of great advice for others but nobody seems interested in it. The thought of offering feedback is so terrifying that you might just fall to your death before asking...
The G.I.F.T. of Feedback
Giving feedback can feel vulnerable. It takes courage to offer feedback. Receiving feedback can also feel vulnerable. If, when you are receiving feedback you feel threatened, you may be more concerned with surviving the feedback than with hearing exactly what is being...
What’s In It For Your Client
What is the value of a reliable and loyal referral source? When receiving a warm referral, you have an overwhelming advantage over the competition. Unless a business already has a sufficient demand for their services, it is crucial to develop relationships with others...
8 Practices to Get More Referrals
Think about why you would give a referral to someone. Let’s face it. Giving a referral to a product or service provider puts your reputation on the line. So, unless you have had a great experience with the product, the service or the provider, you’re not likely to...
How Being a Problem Solver Blinds You of Opportunities
Life can often feel like the arcade game, Whack-a-Mole. A problem shows up, we whack it and then wait for the next one to show up so we can whack it before the next one shows up so we can… whack it! This is a game that cannot be won. But it’s the game most of us play...
What’s the gap between what you want and what you are settling for?
For most of us, there is a big gap between what we really want in life and what we are settling for. Why do we do this? What kind of breakthrough would help you begin living the life that you really want? Think of thoughts as the tip of the iceberg - the part that you...
How to Give and Receive 5-Star Referrals
The decision to refer usually happens in a moment. The decision to not refer happens just as quickly. But there is an internal process that usually goes undetected leading up to that moment. Why do you refer? Think about the last time you gave a referral. Why did you...
6 Steps to Get Past the Voice in Your Head
The appointment was set for 9:00 AM. First impressions are important. This was to be our first connection. I called the number the prospect provided but it was the wrong number. I was prepared for this call. I allowed plenty of time. Had the phone number in front of...
Is Fear Keeping You From Making a Change?
I spoke with a client last week whose current employer had made it difficult for her to stay. She had been working under increasing pressure to perform under impossible circumstances. Her well-being and family life had suffered and she was on her way to a major...
Get Off the Emotional Roller Coaster
Click here to listen to this article if you don't have the time to read it. I was inspired to write this article by an experience which lead to gaining a new and different perspective. Once a week, I facilitate The Work of Byron Katie for 90 minutes. This is a free...
Acting The Part
This morning, I was inspired with an idea and asked my wife, Kathy to help me. I asked her if she could think of a time when I was upset. She reminded me of trying to get technical help over the phone from someone in India. That reminded me of something that happened...
5 Steps To Improve Self-Esteem and Increase Confidence
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough? We’ve all been there at one point or another. Throughout life, your sense of self-worth or self-esteem shapes who you become. Believing you’re not good enough impacts your behaviors and decisions. If you had the...
How to Get Unstuck
Do you feel stuck? Maybe you believe your life is miserable. Nothing is going right and it never will. Or at the very least, your best-laid plans fail to achieve the desired results. I’ve been there. If it turns out there is a hell, I think it will look a lot like the...
How to Attract What you Want
You’ve probably heard of the Law of Attraction before. It’s the idea that you attract into your life what you are focused on. If you are focused on success, you will be successful. Do you want to lose weight? Then focus on having a lighter body. By focusing on being...
6 Questions to Improve Your Efficiency
Most of us have a list a mile long of things we feel like we HAVE to get done. You probably have tasks in different buckets; housework, business work, family work, extracurricular work, volunteer work, and the list goes on. Do you ever feel like your task list is...
How to Break the Complaint Habit
We all know those people who we sometimes dread talking to because all they do is complain. Maybe you are one of those people and don't even realize it. Complaining about things - whether it be life, another person, politics - whatever it is, may seem self-serving....
The Wisdom of The Body
Do you have persistent internal thoughts and questions running through your head at any given time? These thoughts could be about a person, a situation, a stress, a fear, a hope, or any number of things. The thoughts we have create feelings such as the nagging fear...
Get Present to Get Results
Have you ever taken a moment to think about how much the past and future affect the present when it comes to your thoughts, actions, and how you engage in life? Humans largely use their past experiences as an educational tool to take with them into the future. Perhaps...
How You Get What You Get (and how to start getting what you want)
When I am in a coaching session with a client, many influences come in to play. A couple of these include The Work of Byron Katie and Landmark Education, both of which I have written about in previous blog posts. Woven into these two influences has been what I have...
10 Questions To Get You Into Action
You already have the solutions to your problems. If you stop to think about it – when it comes to business, what is that one thing that you know would work to give you more success? Perhaps it’s hiring an employee. Maybe you need a line of credit to invest in...
