Life Hack Articles
In any of my writing, I don’t need to be right. Please don’t believe anything I say or write without first checking with yourself to see if it resonates as true. Even then, it may not be true. When I hear or read something that get’s my attention and seems true, I use my own life to test the new theory. If it works in my life, I’m an evangelist for letting everyone else know about what is working for me. These life hack articles reflect that reality. If what I’ve written here resonates, try it on in your own life. If not, please, let it go. In any case, trust yourself.
“I’m not here to be right, I’m here to get it right.” Brene Brown
“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” Buddha
“Don’t believe a word I write.” Bill Tierney
Not Broken
Photo by Ikowh Babayev from Pexels We're not really broken. I know it can feel that way. It can feel hopeless. But it's not. You can break the cycle. Doing so may be the most important thing you ever do in your life. I came from a long line of generational addiction,...
Making Clear Choices
There are times when making decisions or commitments is easy. Making hard decisions often comes down to the “lesser of two evils,” a coin toss, or simply forcing ourselves to do what feels like the right thing to do. How do you make hard decisions or solve dilemmas?...
Healthy Skepticism
Image by PicsbyFran from Pixabay My family had moved again, this time to Great Falls, Montana. When I learned we were moving, I felt both fear and relief. The previous year had been traumatizing and I was happy that we were moving. But Montana? I had never even seen...
Texting Trigger
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels When I woke up Friday morning I checked my phone and noticed a preview of a text which included the words, “you are lying to me.” I assumed someone must have been drunk texting the wrong number. “This should be fun,” I thought....
Fixing the Unfixable
Photo by Thiago Matos from Pexels Many who grew up in scary and unsafe homes believe they are broken and unfixable. Here’s what I believe. You, me, and everyone else were born as perfect, whole, and complete human beings. But some of us were born into lives that had...
The ACA Laundry List, Trait One
Photo by Amine M'Siouri from Pexels About 40 years after Alcoholics Anonymous was founded, a new recovery program was created. Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA or ACoA) was created to provide support for members of the Alateen program....
What I Thought I Knew
I had been a mortgage loan officer for 15 years. I had survived the financial crisis and mortgage meltdown of 2008-2009 and emerged more determined, more focused, more educated, and more careful. At my lowest point, I knew it was either time to find another career or...
I Only Do What I Want
When I tell my clients that I only do what I want, I get mixed reactions. “That must be nice,” is probably the most common reaction. My favorite response is, “B.S.!” In a life of “have to-s” and “shoulds” it seems impossible that I might do only those things that I...
Press On or Time for a Break?
Photo by Kat Jayne from Pexels Over the years, I’ve read or heard a sentiment expressed that if the conditions of your life are challenging, learn to love them before making any changes. Or something to that effect. There is some merit to this idea. If I just cut and...
Louise’s Journey to Personal Empowerment
Photo by Brenadette Grindle Faust from Pexels Louise, a coaching client, was in a state of confusion. She had thoughts and feelings that seemed to be in opposition with each other. As I listened, she explained the circumstances surrounding her confusion. Louise told...
Breaking the Insecurity Pattern
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels Bob started a book group and Nancy agreed to participate. They met every Monday night with four others to discuss the book. Concerned that his opinions may sour the other members of the book group, Bob usually kept quiet and kept...
Healthy Communication
Image by John Hain from Pixabay Developing healthy relationships can be challenging. What if you had a technique to follow that would help you create a healthy relationship with anyone who is capable of and interested in having a healthy relationship with you?...
Your Automatic Life
Photo by Alex Knight from Pexels The conscious brain occupies 17 percent of total brain mass (about one-sixth of the brain’s weight), yet controls only 2 to 4 percent of actual perceptions or behavior. The nonconscious brain occupies 83 percent (about five-sixths) of...
Approval. The Consolation Prize
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels I heard Byron Katie say that if she had a prayer, it would be, “God save me from the pursuit of love, approval and appreciation.” That got my attention. She went on to say that the effort we put into getting love, approval, or...
Turning Breakdowns into Breakthroughs
Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels Yup. I’m going to do that. I will have it done by next week. Next week comes around and it’s not done. I just had a breakdown in my commitment. Ok, I’ll double down. I’ll have it done by tomorrow. Tomorrow comes around and its done!...
Can’t Decide?
Photo by Victoria Borodinova from Pexels You need to make a decision. Opportunity will pass you by. The deadline is lurking. The pressure is on. But you can't decide! Why not? Instead of teaching you one more strategy to get yourself to do what you can't do,...
Recovering True Self
Photo by James Sutton from Pexels Who do you think you are? When I first heard that question, it didn’t really land as an invitation to consider life’s deeper mysteries. It felt a lot more like a challenge or a threat. Apparently, I thought I was someone who could...
Adult Child Shame
Image by John Hain from Pixabay When you look in the mirror, how do you feel toward who is looking back? For me, it seems to vary each time I look. At one time, I couldn’t tolerate looking in the mirror at all, other than to make sure there was nothing on my face or...
Overcoming Insecurity
Image by John Hain from Pixabay Many otherwise highly functioning men and women experience some level of insecurity in their love relationships. Most of us know at some level that there is no current reason to feel insecure and yet we feel insecure. This can be...
Fear of Rejection, Abandonment, Conflict, or Criticism
We are able to feel fear because fear can help us quickly and efficiently act to avoid harm or death when there is a real threat to our safety. But living with fear of rejection, abandonment, conflict, or criticism does just the opposite. This kind of chronic,...
You’re Not Alone
You were raised in an alcoholic or dysfunctional family You are attracted to dysfunctional partners You are recovering from addiction for at least 3 months You feel like a fraud You are afraid to just be yourself You are insecure in your love relationships You’re...
The Core Belief Log
The Core Belief Log One of the tools I use with my clients is called the Core Belief Log. When, during our coaching a belief is uncovered, I ask my clients to record the belief in the Core Belief Log. Noticing our beliefs and logging them is important because......
Breaking the Pattern
In any relationship there are times to talk and times not to. If you are mentally present and open, it may be time to talk. If you are distracted or triggered its not. How do you know if you are mentally present? Your mind is on what is happening now. What is being...
The Perfect Storm
Uncertainty Institutional Mistrust Misinformation Loneliness Change Insecurity Intimacy Issues Job and Income loss If you're scared, that makes sense. Will you respond to your fear with hatred and blame? Or with love and compassion? Our automatic lives are no longer...
Is Addiction Recovery Possible?
Most of us know someone who is struggling with addiction issues. How to recover from an addiction is not an exact science. There are countless approaches, most with some success. There is an entire addiction recovery industry that exists to address the issue. Why...
Climb the Ladder to Personal Empowerment
I created a tool that was inspired by Esther and Jerry Hicks in their book, Ask and it is Given, The Teachings of Abraham. I named the tool Climb the Ladder because by using it, I and my clients are able to use it to quickly climb to an empowered state before taking...
Are you Coping or are you Curious?
What do you endure in your life? What do you tolerate? What do you survive? Your daughters drill team performance that goes on for hours. Your son’s attitude toward you. Your job, business or career that pays the bills but drains your lust for life. A relationship...
The Internal Guidance System
I’m certainly not the first person to think of feelings as an internal guidance system. When I was first introduced to the idea, it thrilled me to consider that I could trust myself. I loved the thought that I had an internal mechanism to guide me and wanted to...
Working with On-Air Personality, Angela Dodson
A few months back I got a call from an old friend, Clyde. In 1978 I was an assistant store manager for Rosauer’s, a local food store chain. I hired Clyde when he was 16 years old as a courtesy clerk. We’ve stayed in touch over the years. Today Clyde works for...
True Self Leadership
What is True Self Leadership? You, like many people, may be in the habit of attempting to manage and control aspects of yourself that you don’t like. This effort to minimize and control who we are creates an internal tension or pressure. From time to time, life...
Survival or Growth Mindset?
Life’s challenges can provide plenty of opportunity for growth or they can overwhelm us. If you have a growth mindset, challenges provide new opportunities to change and grow. Challenges can inspire innovation and courageous risk taking. Challenging circumstances...
The Source and Meaning of Emotional Pain
What causes emotional pain? A belief system is a system of thoughts that we have decided are true. For the most part, our beliefs are hidden from us. When we are introduced to a concept or idea, we compare that concept or idea to embedded and accepted thoughts...
What are Your Parts Telling You?
After completing a one-year coach training program, my confidence was at an all-time low and I seriously considered quitting my Life Coaching career. A part of me was convinced that I was a fool to think I could be a successful life coach. In 2011, while working as a...
Fear, Resistance and Action
No time to read this article? Listen to it instead. Fear. What do you do when you are feeling it? Does it stop you? Do you work around it? Does it limit you? Do you push your way past it? In the coaching world, one of our jobs as coaches is to help our...
Hope and Expectation
What do you expect your life to look like in a year? What do you hope your life will be like in a year? What we expect is based on what is happening now and what has happened in the past. For many of us, what is happening now is a version of what has happened in the...
I’m not trying hard enough
What are you trying hard to do? Today is day 25 of my 30 day thought diet. I was inspired to make this commitment after waking up at 5 AM in Kauai 25 days ago with anxiety and no present justification for it. I got out of bed and began listing all of my thoughts,...
How I Leveraged my Complaints to Create the Life I Wanted
I’m not proud of this. But I used to complain about my life. A lot. I’ve often wondered why I complained so much. Eventually, I realized that complaining is a leftover from my childhood when I was entirely and naturally dependent. You can read more about that in...
Seven Things I have Learned About Anxiety
About 25 years ago, I stepped away from the living of my life far enough to make a profound observation. I saw that my life consisted of a series of reactions to the circumstances in my life. Further, I realized that I was reacting to my interpretations of those...
What to do When it’s Hard to Decide
As a coach, when a client comes to me with a problem, I am tempted to try to resolve the problem for them. But this is rarely helpful. Solving the problem for a client is like feeding a man a fish. My clients think they want me to solve their problems. But what...
Tapping Into Your Internal Team
True Self Recovery. A new Coaching Program for those who feel stuck. Inspired by the Internal Family Systems Therapy model, I have created a new coaching model to help discover and explore your Internal Team. Your Internal Team is made up of beliefs and attitudes...
Testimonial from Carly Cloer
I was hitting my head against a wall. I knew I was getting in my own way but I didn’t know how to change it. I knew I was meant to work on my own and not answer to anyone. I knew that my life’s calling was not what I was doing. I was constantly trying to fit a...
How can I help?
People ask me to help them when they recognize that how they show up in life automatically gets in the way of having the life that they want. Sometimes they don't even know what they want in life. They just know they aren't satisfied with the life they have now....
The Yes and No of Yes
When you say yes, what are you saying yes to? When you say yes, what are you saying no to? You may be asked to give your money, effort, attention or time. Money You may be asked to give your money. Each time you spend money, you are saying yes to what you are...
Harry’s Breakthrough Success Club Success Story
Harry was referred to me by the doctor who employed him. He joined Breakthrough Success Club when his boss offered to pay for his coaching. But when his children’s mother decided to move to another state, he quit his job and followed them there to be in their...
How are you. Why do you ask?
How are you? It’s a greeting more than a question. But it’s still a question. Both the question and the answer are usually automatic. Want to create an awkward moment? Answer How ya doin? with a real answer. What’s your automatic answer to How are you? Fine....
5 Rs to Remember When Giving Feedback
When it comes to giving feedback, you probably fall into one of three categories: You have a lot of great advice for others but nobody seems interested in it. The thought of offering feedback is so terrifying that you might just fall to your death before asking...
The G.I.F.T. of Feedback
Giving feedback can feel vulnerable. It takes courage to offer feedback. Receiving feedback can also feel vulnerable. If, when you are receiving feedback you feel threatened, you may be more concerned with surviving the feedback than with hearing exactly what is being...
What’s In It For Your Client
What is the value of a reliable and loyal referral source? When receiving a warm referral, you have an overwhelming advantage over the competition. Unless a business already has a sufficient demand for their services, it is crucial to develop relationships with others...
8 Practices to Get More Referrals
Think about why you would give a referral to someone. Let’s face it. Giving a referral to a product or service provider puts your reputation on the line. So, unless you have had a great experience with the product, the service or the provider, you’re not likely to...
The Wack-A-Mole Life
Life can often feel like the arcade game, Whack-a-Mole. A problem shows up, we whack it and then wait for the next one to show up so we can whack it before the next one shows up so we can… whack it! This is a game that cannot be won. But it’s the game most of us play...
